Fairly decent day today, got my muscles built at work, all that jazz, recap: christmas eve was awesome ,christmas was good, Brittanys birthday had both...

It. Is. Christmas Eve? The world does not stop for anything, responsiblity extends past spirit. But WHY?

amendment to my analogy of myself, i dont let people in, i put windows up so they can see, but they arent in line and you cant see me

Editing is just as much an art as acting. Its like a painting, you take your raw materials and make them into what you wanted ppl to see.

I miss your brightness
i miss your sparkle
i miss your fun
i miss you snow
please return soon

come back snow, i miss you
i miss your white blanket
i niss your icy breeze
i miss that fresh feeling when i step outside
i miss you snow
please come back

Didnt start a random convo. but i did get stuff done and worked an extra 2 hours oh yeeeah

A night of story telling and ODST

Im doing better, accepting it slowly...

I am bouncing around the stages of grief like a trampoline...

My cat peanut is being rushed to the ER because he cant move his back legs. Please Pray for him and that we dont have to put him down.

Dressing room. The mall was cool, Brittany met my friend and we had a rediculous convo, but more over. work at 8 tomm. waking up at 6

Just finished coding like crazy 2.5 hours on this, so close to done, just a few issues

Good Evening is a greeting but Goodnight is a sendoff?

having a disagreement with Brittany, just trying to work stuff out.

Thanksgiving was great, 3 turkeys 3 meals, all peaceful

Six monthes. never better

good day, fun day, applebees with the group, ac moore for josh and ericas wedding stuff, and back to her house before meeting at church.... pwnd cranium!

Friday the 13th came and went and not an adverse event yet. bedtime...

lazy day, aside from work, actually, not lazy.... i ran around and stuff, didnt have class but still craziness..... flashforward and Brittany still great :)

OH MY GOSH THE CONCERT WAS INCREDIBLE!!! I GOT A SHIRT AND A MUG! IT WAS NARRARATED BY THE GUY THAT DOES C3PO VOICE!!!! WOOOO

amazing day today, work went well, class was fair, kohls got something, and heroes omg cuddle... and she makes me soooo happy

It was just one of those days, at least the interview with the social worker went well...

You meet some interesting people on the bus, talked to this girl for like 30 mins then the whole bus ride. interesting person, just let her talk after a while.

sooooo many pumpkins!!!!!!

i was finally a rouge! waterfire ppl got coin`d. lots of hoods and stuff, got a guy straight in the pocket, it was so cool, his woman was patting him down!

Finally getting serious about the costume, alot of work left to do, but its gonna get done! i know it!

flash forward and super cuddle time, really comfy!

I missed the damn bus... drobe Brittanys car to work then back to her then she drove me to school, good classes tho, exam and presentation, got torn up in cw!

Cuddled, thats about it, well worked on the costume more tho, its gonna turn out pretty great!

today was good, stats teacher grades the hw you have, or so it seems, but yeah, told him bout my idea and he said i should patent the idea...

i accepted my position as co leader of ushers and greeters and talked to my uncle about it, he told me he had material for me and wanted to know what i thought!

The second day of the leadership retreat has brought rain and beauty of nature and fruits of our own spirits, i tried to explore my strengths and found 1! yay!

went to this super cool retreat today, learned so much so far and still another day to go!

spent another day with brittany!

Got nothing to do just chillax

Flashforward is deff abcs mind rape

Gh and dt, great classes, really fun stuff.

Went for a night on the town? walked around and saw art and found the coolest little thrift store

Stats was good, heroes still givin it to my brain...

Woah, k, honestly next time remind me how much I need sleep before I go psychiatrist on anyone late at night...

some great ideas

mineral spring and had to walk the rest of the way... got a pasta bowl from dominos, good stuff. had alot of fun at Brittanys, very relaxing... came up with

Today was my second day at work, i got quite a bit done. i learned new stuff, and accidently took the wrong bus ended up in woonsocket and took the right bus to

FWD: We think the best way would be to put a piece of cheese under the box and then attach it to a string to capture the spirit. Good luck. kgb_ team

Amazing day today, fao schwartz, empire state building, trump tower, yankee stadium(from a distance), apple store, and alot of characters, it was so much fun!

Ok, so, in nyc, saw time square, got hit on by a gay guy and slept in a cozy little hostel...

Another day of sick, went to the hs today, found out about a teachers wake, visited Brittany at her work, heard about some "fun" cust. and a fun class day96exam

October 12th

I very much think I have lost my voice, my throat hurts, Brittany made me soup... Heroes! I can't talk, so I type, here is what I typed while Brittany was here between 8 ish and 10 ish:

OK

Now to pin… PEANUT!!! Get off!!!!

*Chuckle* *even harder**ROFLMAO*

Flavored ones yes, maybe a lemon one, like lemon zinger, maybe. I will go see, and idk, ask my mom. Cheesy? Like ravioli or like cheese puffs? Like how cheesy? Ok…. Sure. *hangs head in dismay* ß Better? I know, “Less than, Dash, Dash, space = Arrow”. however digitally. Go ask my mom. Show me how to pin, and I will while u make honey… honey…

What would you do if after I died I came behind you and you heard boo. Would you be scared? Or laugh at the cliché?

What if there were other people around… and I know it stinks, I can smell… and they heard it too… AT THE WAKE! No no no, behind the pastor at the funeral…. Black mass and all… I would probly literally “turn over in my grave” because I would turn myself over, then back… yup, alive isn’t everything, only a small portion… really small… yup.

This is a new thing, I have been to retreats, my first one was a fall retreat, where I accepted Christ… it was after all the planets had aligned… they were out of alignment, more like a box, but still AWESOME… outside, at a camp, so no light pollution, beautiful more like. But awesome too

Is there sugar, oh, sugar might be nice… maybe, would hurt… oh, ok…

Achievements, now, GIFT ME, I need the white ribbon, lmao plz

Le sigh, I will be 100 short, I think. Exp. 100k over. Lol

Watermelon, and 4 days

Hour long shows seem so short. L ß Emoticon à J only 2 available

The box looks good, I could have said bad, you agreed before the opinion… oh, I knew that, but still…

Liabililty and to ward off ghosts from past performances… Will Shakie l.m.a.o not just shakie, but will shakie

That cleared things up

Utility is a measure of satisfaction, measured in utils u-tulls, weird economists…

I can explain, and maybe you can help…

Marginal utility is the amount of extra satisfaction one gets from continuing to indulge, ex. Ice cream.

Just picking, for an example.

Cones	Shrimp - TU	Total Utility	Marginal
1	7	10	10
2	12	18	8
3	16	23	5
4	19	25	2
5	21	25	0
6	22	22	-3 (Satiation of Cones)

The More cones you eat, the more satisfaction you get. To a point, after that you get sick. I can’t remember the term, but this is all from sitting in class and taking notes, having looked at them since…

Anyway, now its bugging me, can you get my econ notebook. Ok, Satiation… the point you get sick (6). When you eat another cone, you increase your TU by your marginal. Ok, now to the questions…

Adam Smith, “economies are run by an invisible hand”… So the joke… now makes sense…

One the 7^th and following, the shrimp would seem more satisfying, that is unless you get sick of shrimp at the same time…

Indifference curve and and tangency with utility curve ß Demand at a given (Price?)

I was explaining ahead… you completed the thought…

The feet are the temperature gauge for the body

Before you go, could you possibly make me another cup of tea, and yes, yes I did. It’d been ok, long as it was light. Kisses are ALWAYS acceptable. Uh huh. So I don’t get more sick, tea then bed. And yes, I would… TO THE KITCHEN!

ok, so i put both feet in the boat, instead of one in the water and one in boat... trinitys cabaret was pretty good, diff than vcu but still good

Just had weirdest dream, ex saves me, go to her place Brittany there, or something, car engine fire, ticket for knocking a telephone pole over, told ppl laugh..

beach

So, great game night, awesome that everyone was at the same point in a relationship. it was cool. 2 am scrabble and a night in scituate.

Amazing

Mama mia is a very funny movie, , but dont take my word for it... reading rainbow... lol, anyway, templars created the force, class was class and Brittany is

September 26th

Key words:
cruise
holiday/immediate family gathering
escape
insulted
late
innocence
mom and dad compare
music
pizza

Good day today, brittany came over, we went to Dagget Farm, it was fun, we saw all sorts of animals, and I got attached to Henry the goat, Brittany got attached to a donkey, in a different way... But after that we cuddled, oh and I took lots of pictures, should be on facebook soon... Tired now, asking my mind about an apartment...

died, but he was in a different tank, all by himself, and brittany mentioned a pet store on atwood ave, then i woke up, interpret THAT

K so i asked if me and Brittany would marry each other and i got things, words being paired together, then i saw that brittany got more and more fish and raiden

September 25th

Another Crazy dream, well, tonight I am going to ask my subconscious mind what it thinks of my relationship with Brittany. hope its good lol, anyway, good day today, more done virtually than really, but I got my chores done, and did my check stuff, and I am filling out an app for CCRI because the bookstore wants me! HAPPY DAYS! More hours means more money, and no more poor Michael. I can't work more than 15 hours, so no more than 4 days a week, so thats good, really good actually. 8 bucks an hour 15 hours, thats more deer then I can handle! anyway, Played D&D online with brittany, finished a quest and it felt good having done something together as a team. Better then if I did it alone...

Good classes, very constructive, so much critisism i could build a skyscraper, idk, i realized i am malnurished and my body yells at me, & i helped Brittany rls

Boom, good day, Brittany gave me a flower and came to visit when she was off, i did an evp, semifail, and class was good. gonna try and do aplia and job app tom

September 21st

My 4 Month Anniversary. Spent Worrying about Brittany and her car, but found a resolution, almost getting stuck in Warwick CCRI because of no ride, and Watching my teacher geek out because of low blood sugar..... lmao

Great day, really yearning to be deeper for God, got stuck for a few hours but im ok, got my story done. really good work. i love Brittany...

last sunday a boy was baptised and his faith story inspired me, childlike faith, and the stories coming alive to him...

Just layin down in my chair bed cause Brittany is over after a good day at work and a fun after work, got alot done, went for a walk at night, ah romantic, bed.

September 18th

TODAY, TODAY I got quite a bit done, pretty busy all day, so here is a run down:

9:45 - Left the house to catch a bus
9:53 - Caught bus on Smith, heading towards Kennedy Plaza
10:12 - Arrived at Kennedy Plaza
10:19 - Got on bus heading to mom's work
10:22 - Bus left
10:28 - Arrived at Rhode Island Hospital, got guided to mom's hospital
10:37 - Called Mom to let her know I was down in the lobby so I could go up
10:57 - Got keys and left for Brittany's
11:30 - arrived at Brittany's and chatted for a bit while Brittany got dressed and ready
11:50 - Tried starting Brittany's car and heard a clicking sound...
12:02 - Left Brittany's with her in the car
12:30 - Arrived at a pet store to order suction cups for my heater
12:53 - Finally home, ate cereal
1:40 - Left to pick up suction cups
1:52 - Got suction cups, headed to High School
1:58 - Got to the High School and went in and talked to teachers, introducing them to Brittany
2:45 - Taco Bell
3:20 - Left Taco Bell, headed home
4:00 - Home and inside, tried to start writing but got distracted by facebook.
6:00 - Finally starting to work on it, sort of
7-8:30 - Serious writing time, I got 2 paragraphs done...
9-10 - cooked chicken
10:24 - Left to drop off Brittany
10:46 - Leaving Brittany's
11:00 - Arrived at mom's work
11:20 - Left hospital
11:36 - Arrived home after heated discussion
1:27 - Facebooked till now, now going to bed

September 17th

Finally got my code, and a binder for my book, got 2/3 of the hw for accounting done. Went to visit Brittany a couple times today, came up with this oversexed Italian named Tony. He hit on Brittany and i feel bad about it, because I said some thing I didn't want to. After that I went to my memere and pepere's house and spent time with them, it was nice to sit down with them and talk and catch up. Then after that I went to aunt donna's and lost to Noah by 3 points, cool stylized kills though. deffinately cool. Hoping that I will get a call monday about a job opening at the CCRI bookstore, right place at the right time...

September 16th

Good day of classes, my code still isn't in, but thats ok, I went to class and it is very enjoyable and I think I am gonna learn alot from econ. and fun stuff in creative writing, my favorite was a longer one about a guy losing his virginity. sooo tired....

to go to italy, at least he`d go if he could and never come back, but his job is keeping him here

im gonna write her a poem, called her everything, i applied at a hotel, met an interesting char. on the way, jimmy, wnt to cali but been back for 10 yrs, plans

Got alot done with my game, class went well, hw is mega important, like mega important, but good day regardless, home late mom upset but its ok now

Soooo tired. work was slow, got disgusted by tv, and came home @ 1120. i talked to Brittany, and tred to telepathically ease her rls and succeeded....

Suuuuper tired, but great day, 8/10 for the day, spent it all with brittany, we cuddled and went for walks and made perogis, sooo yummy. church and work tmrw..

Weird dreams, Brittany liked her present, and i found her camera, we set ares up in his tank, and all is well

Tired. Physically Hurting. Helped Brittany feel better and she wrote it out which helps. Made her a gift to condense her feelings, condense her facebook note..

i missed 09:09:09 on 09/09/09 but thats ok, good day in class, heard that i should have been hired and that a valet pos. is mine if i can learn stick...

Met the leader and tried to stop something and weird stuff

and they had a secret organization, and some injected their face with stuff for youth, and they lived for hundreds of years and hacked blogs and stuff and i

up cause my brothers alarm slowly eased me out of sleep and i had to go for a walk to calm down and turn my ac on for white noise. back to sleep and asians and

I got it, and i squeezed Ares out and then i have no idea wheat happened but i was searching for him for a while, and then i saw live greased pigs squered. woke

Craziest set of dreams ever, i dreamt i put ares in a smaller tank in a big tank and he got out and got swallowed whole by a shark so me and Brittany reached in

Got alot done with ttt, had nerf fights with zach and realized i am getting old, and that i am so in love

September 6th

Woah, totally like 45 minutes late for work, which super sucks, especially when I get 0 Hours the rest of the week, but its ok, I mean I am the odd man out, being part time, and least seniority. But it's a short week, so we will see next week... OH, crazy loud party like 2 streets from my work. like crazy loud.... Bed time now, talked to brittany for a while, she made me smile earlier, and on the phone... so :) ...

September 5th

Alright, how's this for a blog... I'm exhausted... I'm in my bed, getting ready to fall asleep, cause I almost passed out, probably did at brittany's, *YAWN* ... The smell of fresh balsam wafts in the air, *sniff* yeah, showed nancy what i have as far as the tic tac toe game goes, it's coming along, I have a name thing when you name yourself, i'm gonna add a random computer generated name.... thing, like when you press ok, it will open up another dialog box, and you'll add, it'll be like male or female and there will be like 4 choices each. and it will randomize it. Work on that tomorrow *YAWN* and uh, and hopefully work on the possibilities thing and where to put the the char the uh pieces, um so they work through the steps, I gotta get the first step down, so, thats what i'm gonna do. Alright... Bout time for me to get off here, can't really see much detail, see my bed, I have a cool quilt, well awesome, awesome uh comforter, alright, work tomorrow probably, forgot to call, *YAWN* I will just show up at 3:30... 3:30, 4 o'clock, probably 4, cause thats when they tell me to be in, so I will probably be in at 4, *sigh* but yeah, my eyes look cool in the night vision, anyway, yeah, goodnight.... this my blog, september 5th 2009
[VIDEO]

September 4th

....

September 3rd

Got my check today... Still not making 8 dollars an hour. we will see about it next week, but right now I don't know. Good day at work, pretty somber, went to vinny's grandmother's wake, told him I was there for him. Please Pray for them...

September 2nd

Good day, I went to breakfast with Chris and Mom, learned some stuff bout the past, and stuff, came home went to NPHS, couldn't get in so went after school and got in, said hi, sitting in on an astronomy class on friday, came home, showed joe my sales vid, he said he got give me some stuff he used for training vids and if I could put it in my own words I could use it. then I went to brittany's hooked up her computer via LAN. Watched Ghost Hunters, chatted live with Kris and Grant, it was pretty cool, no I am home, I got my payments and stuff figured out, so now everything will be ALLLLLL Set...

September 1st

Great day at work, nice and steady, great tips, 7.42, i started depositing $2 in my savings every day so i can save lots of money up, great savings plan...

August 30th

First actually being online and posting post in a while, I worked my first night shift and I AM EXHAUSTED, but damn good tips like 6 something... My six button seems stuck or something... i don't have any idea. OH, Justin, Brittany and I went to thayer street and Prospect Park. Check out the pose of Roger Williams' statue. He is totally getting his
lean on... I got pizza and starbucks! yay! Sleep now...

August 29th

Just got woken up by my door being kicked in... Going on a peacful walk now. <--- 7 AM
....
Back from my walk, I found some cool places I never have been before, I am very calm now. Gotta go help clean and stuff...

August 28th

10:59 AM
Just programmed my bike odometer and am heading out for my day

3:18 PM
I am who i am because that is who God made me...

August 27th

I am in a great mood. I got extra hours, I am so in love, and i played monopoly and had so much fun. Great night tonight, also helped mom with the basement...

August 26th

8:50 AM
I dreamt i made a movie, and I could see the movie I watched it, it was a short film, but i dont rember much about it, then i had to save everyone and they were all high on some lsd esque thing, anything with a motor seemed like it was a monster or had one in it to them. the movie started off with people in a gym doing a form sloppily and then there was the one who did it right and it looked really good and it was spinning around this guy and he was some sort of hero.

10:19 PM
beach was very nice, however, it was 12 dollars to get in and we had to go to the bank then back, and bill tore up the beach, piles of seaweed and really rocky.

August 25th

I am keeping up with this, almost done, work was good today, got a little upset with the manager, but kept it to myself, And will keep it that way... Anyway, got to see Brittany for a bit and we went to the park near her house, rode the carousel and fed some swans, got great pictures, A swan ate out of my hand! it was So cool!!!....

August 24th

Went to atwood grill with my grandparents. It was a good meal, we talked about 1940's. How my grandparents met, he used to hang out on the corner near her house, and after the war he worked in the mill and he got something every week from my memere to distribute to the workers, like pay or something, and they got married in 1952. What my memere did during the war, worked as a payroll accountant, and got to help the book keeper so she learned a bit, then she got moved to a different mill and was put as cost accountant, she had to figure out how much it cost to produce each type of cloth using the cost to do each part, even electricity... About today's wars, yesterday's wars, and the atomic bomb. Pepere said the japanese told him that a bird came and dropped fire... talking about incendiary bombs. It was very interesting. After that I watched a traffic court show, and went home, and watched TV and waited till my mom got home and went to Brittany's, we had BLT's and it was very good, but the problem of leaving came, and my E-Brake got stuck, but she got it down and I got home safe. Then brittany and I watched a "Future of... Sex" show and now I am going to bed...

August 23rd

Went to church today, came home and had company, realized I would be a pretty great dad. And I watched some sci channel, great stuff. Fusion on earth and string theory...

August 22nd

Just got back from Waterfire with Brittany Raquel and Italo. I may have made a bit too much noise, which wasn't much. It woke both people up, and I got in trouble because:

1. Noone is suppose to come in with me.
2. I allegedly made too much noise
3. I shouldn't go upstairs if I am to come in late...
   

August 21st

Life is all about choices, each choice you make, each path you take has consequences. We should all look at that before we make a choice, say a word or think a thought. Maybe this will make our world a better place.

August 20th

Catching up is a bitch. But I can feel my mind activate different places the further back I try to remember. But anyway, I had weird dreams the past couple days, one involving being chased though a super market by crazed women trying to make the most amazing snack to females EVER. And then seeing a mouth inside someone's belly button... way weird dream. But I am being haunted by phrases my ex used to say frequently and they are all in a modified english, ie. something close to baby talk. And it bothers me because I see parallels between my relationship then and my current one, and I don't want the same thing to happen. But it is a learning process, and I will get there. I also realized today that I am sad when Brittany is sad, especially emo on her period due to stress because her family is falling apart etc. And I feel like I don't know how to react, but I also don't know what to say to make it better, but I think it's best I don't say anything. Just let her use my shoulder and wait for her smiling face to return. I spent most of the day with her today, and we had ALOT of good times: Crazy dancing in the car to techno and 90's pop, fun stuff, I showed her Arcanum and she seemed to really like it. I attempted to cook a weinie but it didn't work as well as planned, esp. since I made it with onions and a bunch of spices and it tasted horrible, probably good to someone, but it was bareable... Her aunt made a really great shrimp dish and it was delish, and we cuddled and went for a walk and enjoyed the night air.... I met Brittany's great aunt's great niece, and she got all shy and cowared from me and hide in the couch, but, I work tommorow and need to sleep, feels good to get thoughts down... OH INTERVIEW FOR LAUNDROMAT! Went well I think, hopefull Brittany and I will get the postions... But wow, I need to do something different tomm. at neurofeedback. But hey, goodnight...

August 19th

Ghost Hunters came on tonight and I tried my ass off to get to Brittany's and almost got there on my own, but I believe I broke her control arm when I jumped the curb last time... :( But she ended up driving me both ways and we watch a few episodes, I swam before I went, and we played LIFE cause I brought it over. Brittany won with over 2 Mil. I almost won but was slightly under with 1.89 Mil. She had the higher paying job, but no complaining or attempts to make excuses. I enjoyed the episodes, but I think I hurt Brittany's feelings because I said she was long winded about things she liked, but its ok, I feel bad that I let her talk though. I will get better...

August 18th

I worked from 11-5 today, fairly fun shift, not as entertaining but fun none the less. I met an older man who remembers when he could buy a 23 oz beer for a nickel... and when 40 dollars a week was pay, which could buy you a suit! I wish I could do that today, work a week and buy a suit... I think I can I just don't work enough... :( He was in the air force and flew in a B24 Liberator. Interesting talk I had with him. Then after I got home, Brittany had cleaned most of my room which looks fantastic, but we had an very fun very long session at neurofeedback. Brittany got in on it, and I did my calming stuff and it is sooooo awesome...

August 17th

I forgot to mention yesterday that I laughed so hard because brittany was freakin' out at a BUILDING! We hadn't planned to see each other today, actually the complete opposite but we came to the conclusion that we cannot spend a day without each other so she came over, but not before I spent hours playing the Sims or some other game, but spending a good part of my day barely dressed in front of my computer occupied with games... But she is sleeping over tonight because she is low on gas and it would help if she could stay because I have an appointment tomm....

August 16th

Church today, really good service and great discussion during sunday school, second week on prayer. After church, brittany and I went to see the building where TAPS (The Atlantic Paranormal Society) was created. while we were in the area we went to Oakland Beach and sat on the rocks, took a short dip in the water and got brittany her first clam cakes and doughboys from Iggy's...

August 15th

I had neurofeedback today for the first time in a while. It was good, really interesting stuff. she tried a new spot and I did really good at it. Raquel and Italo came over and we swam in the pool and looked at my yearbook, it was fun. I haven't mentioned Brittany yet because it is kind of assumed she is with me every day, not complaining, just letting you know. then me and my mom argued, I went to italo's house, we played Buzz! and it was fun, then I came home and Brittany slept over.

August 14th

Just got back from getting lost in pawtucket trying to get to brittanys, got home fine, but it took me too long and i got called inconciderate AGAIN...

August 13th

Got home from the club my head is pounding, and i feel sick, i am sleeping downstairs tonight, so i will not disturb everyone...

August 12th

I didnt get too much done as far as knox goes but i had fun tonight and there is another fun night on the way :)

August 11th

ok, so better day, my mom and i reached an agreement and everything worked out, i had a really scary dream about spiders this morning, and now i have tummy ache... :( probably should go eat something, or take pepto...

August 10th

Great first day at work, i am arguing with my mom more and more, and i cant do it anymore

August 9th

Today. I. Accomplished. My. Goal. I left for church at 9 AM. I have been trying to do that for i don't even know how long. But regardless. It was a really good service, and bible study time. I am sliding right back into things, attitudes and stuff, and nothing around here has changed, I can't be the new person I have become if noone around changed either. But whatever. I am tired, and am going to bed, hopefully I will be creative in the morning...

August 8th

I went to my memere's and had a very nice lunch. Meat potatoes and corn. I found something odd in my corn, like a hard piece or something but it's ok, the rest was delish! I enjoy spending time with them. Then me and Brittany went to waterfire, watched it get lit, which was beautiful, and went up to the mall for food and to see it from a height; Met raquel and italo there, we all walked to a jazz stage and then they went to go find their friend Bill as me and Brittany listened to the jazz. It was really interesting. Then when they go back, the show ended, and we walked up to thayer st. and had Johnny Rockets. Fun times, so exhausted now...

August 7th

More organizing! We finally moved my bureau to another spot and I moved my TV and Stereo. Me and brittany went crazy trying to get to the beach by bus but we made it, I saw some people I know. I found out that I look so different I am unrecognizable. Good thing about that is that people that didnt know me well enough can't pick me out of a crowd. I had an interesting dream about planning my wedding, I remember the nervousness vividly, it was August 11th. I am being told to go to bed so I am going...

August 6th

Today brittany and I cleaned more of my room, put shelves places and sorted out my clothes. I called a pizza place I applied at but they just put my thing on file so I didn't get that job...

August 5th

Ok, so here's what I got done.

1. Applied at NY System
2. Applied at the laundromat
   
3. Started my URI app.

Got stuck at brittany's house, but had great pasta ala uncle eddie. her car had thrown oil everywhere inside, so my brother had to come give it a look...

August 4th

Today I set up brittany's computer, went all over Rhode Island, looked at Home Depot for wood, mailed stuff at the post office and I got nearly licked to death by the cutest terrier EVER, we applied for jobs and I have a good feeling about it...

August 3rd

Got more done today. Visited my dad for a long tome, showed him my videos, matthew wasn't amused. Before that we unpacked brittany's car, told ghost stories at Dads, got a lab urine sample done... yeah, I have to have ultrasounds and that sample taken before my doctor will see me. And I FINALLY got my 13 credits at CCRI, so now I am good for school, I really like my schedule, and I finally get to sleep in my bed, so I am now, goodnight...

August 2nd

I have finally made it. I AM HOME. and I brought someone with me. Someone that I wish never to leave, This will be tough but I think we can make it work, I say tough because I have never dated like this, you know, in two separate households. Especially since I don't have a job. I am utterly exhausted, and glad to finally be home...

August 1st

this is my last blog from richmond, and it is from richmond, and i had fun at the beach, got nice and burned, going to be brown soon, I hope, and now its time for bed. Big day tomorrow.

July 31st

Today has been something else... I woke up early, went to an agriculture fair with Brittany, had lots of fun, won $10 in a pie eating contest. There were animals and other stuff. Then when we came home, I tried getting the bed out, and they came to pick it up, I helped her husband carry the couch to their appt. It was so ridiculous... They almost shorted me cause the guy couldn't do math... We ate at leaonardos after we finished packing and showering and cleaning... Katie Rae came over for an hour, and I need to go to bed.... NOW, beach tomm.

July 30th

Alot has been done today, I have packed, called places, got everything straightened out and now I need to finish tommorow and go to bed now.

July 29th

I finally sold my bed, $150, gonna use that for something like a futon chair up north, with a nice thick mattress. We went to the pet store later in the day and checked out all the animals, we saw albino mice and there were 2 on the wheel and one would run and the other would just spin around and around. It was so funny. Earlier, we said goodbye to Eliza, kinda sad, but we will keep in touch. Sleeping was interesting... Back to the pet store, hyperactive super cute cat, caught my attention and my lovin, I wished I could take it home with me... Me and brittany played halo, and baked a cake, well, she did the cake, and soup, soup-er good, sorry, food puns galore today...

July 28th

Eliza Brittany and I played Halo 3, I had to teach them, Brittany is getting better. Eliza gets confused easily but it will be ok. We all had fun tonight, she is sleeping over tonight. We got some really delicious pizza, grilled chicken on the whole thing, Hawaiian on half and spicy italian sausage, Green peppers on the other half. It was suppose to be deep dish but wasnt that deep. This is the last time we will see her...

July 27th

Today has been a really good day. I slept till like 11, then we sold more stuff on ebay, then we mailed out some clothes. We went to the pool and when we got out we went to the mall and had the most amazing dinner date, we went to Tara Thai. I had a catfish dish with a lot of "exotic spices". It was really fun, we walked around the mall after we got out, but I really liked the atmosphere, and the food was intense, I prefer Italian though. Got to go and get stuff done tomorrow...

July 26th

Church was really good today, I realized that if I had not been brought up in the faith that I don't think anyone would have ever told me about God. I would have never known about what amazing things can happen through God. Me and brittany went out in the rain and danced and had a good time, and it was so much fun, but church deff. got me thinkin' these past few weeks...

July 25th

Good day today, got editing done. Eliza visited, and we all went to see "The Ugly Truth". Funny movie, so funny. My only problem is that Gerard Butler is Scottish and you can tell because he slips a bit. I am finally making Stephen's Mom the DVD of our videos. But when it gets done I will give it to stephen.

July 24th

Our brokenness and imperfection is what makes us us, an so trying to be perfect, although no toy will ever be made "perfect", what defines us is the cracks and chips and all the ways we tried to mend them, and make them like new. Perfection is defined as withought flaw, mark, or other spot to make it imperfect. No two lives are the same, we are like snowflakes, all unique, the water the gives us life frozen to our every part. We are like noone and nothing else, and we are to thank god for that... (see comment on yesterday...) My last day at work was a good one, it was fast and I made good money. I will have a decent paycheck to hold me over till I can get a job back in Rhode Island. Which is good, so, bedtime and the beginning of the end of my Southern Adventure...

July 23rd

If forcing a perfect situation, causes an imperfect moment, if you pick an imperfect situation, can you make perfection out of imperfection? We went to visit her grandmother, she took us to a mexican restaurant and goodwill... But back to my question. Can perfection be found in our imperfect world? Can the randomness of our lives have meaning? Can our brokenness be our greatest attribute?

July 22nd

We started to put her stuff on ebay. I still need to put my bed and stuff on there. DnD was fun, we fought undead, and had some interesting stuff happen with the ghost of the man who built it...

July 21st

Brittany went to see her parents, when she got back she told me it went well, no arguments, but only because she held her tongue. I am not allowed on the property even if we get married and have kids...

July 20th

We have decided to breed our betta fish. Ares was up first, and after several hours of trying to have him make a bubble nest... Brittany researched breeding extensively... we put them in the same water and Fiona, the girl, got all stressed out so we switched out the fish and now its raidens turn, she is reacting much better to him, so tomorrow we will try it. bed now tho.

July 19th

In church we had a different pastor, and he preached on christians being the light of the world. From Matthew 5... Second week in a row I heard a sermon on that. God works in mysterious ways tho... After church I played Red Faction a bit and then me and brittany went on a date to the mall. We went to a furniture store, Bath and Body works, hot Topic briefly, Things Remembered, and Java chocolate, then I closed at work, it wasnt so bad after all. Plus I got 2.52 more hours than I was planning! Ok, bedtime now, trying to go to sleep with children of the corn on in the living room...

July 18th

I worked, but before that I played Red Faction Guerrilla. Brittany and I went to the pool and it was so much fun, we found SQUIRRELS at the pool. around 11 Zeb Scott and their girls came over and watched some dual inferno videos, They almost died laughing at gangsta street co.... bed time now.... its late and I changed the time...

July 17th

I finally kissed her, we were at the pool and I told her that trying to force the perfect circumstance caused an imperfect moment, I feel better now, I worked today and didnt feel tired at all, it was very nice, I worked a split even, but I hope I get my hours in so I can make some money...

July 16th

Brittany, Stephen and I went to see the next Harry Potter movie. I really didn't have any desire too, and I have been feeling pretty grumpy lately, maybe I have not been sleeping well, I don't know, but I think that the movie was good as a movie, I liked the actors, the action, and understood when I was suppose to feel emotion and stuff. Before the movie started we saw some pretty good trailers, I don't remember them, but the please silence your cell phone thing waited for brittany to come back because she had to get up for some reason, and it paused until she was in her seat, I guess they knew she was excited for it...

July 15th

DnD was good. We cleared out a few rooms in the dungeon. I shot a blind guy and had the minotaur throw me down a set of stairs into some guys and i landed on my feet and almost died after I took some guys out, but its ok, it was all in good fun. Besides that I worked, it was good, except for a bitch customer, but me and brittany went to the doctor and she wrote her a perscription. She came home and took tylynol and is feeling much better...

July 14th

I gave her a concoction of pills to take and they lowered her fever and alleviated her headache. It fluctuates however, but at least she is feeling better. We are still trying to figure out whats wrong. But for now I am medicating her and hoping for the best. Work was good today, some woman called me dumb after I put her on hold and thought I couldn't hear her. I was very upset. But I can't really do anything...

July 13th

Posts For today:
1:05 PM
Sitting at the gate, waiting for my plane to get here its delayed again, leaving at 145
2:01 PM
Boarding
2:10 PM
Seated on the plane
3:31 PM
Landed in philly, still on the plane, but my connection is in the same section of the terminal. my next plane leaves at 410
3:55 PM
On my next flight
5:12 PM
On the ground and taxiing be at the gate shortly

Now, I got back to my apartment safe and sound, me and brittany went to an indian restaurant and left cause the food was expensive, we paid for our drinks... I dropped her back off at home because she wasn't feeling well. I went and ate at leonardos, I ordered cheesy bread and got 6 instead of 1, but for the same price. Brittany really isn't feeling well, she has chills and a headache and when I lay next to her it's so hot. I am going to sleep next to her tonight tho...

July 12th

Today was a good day. Church was really good, I need to sleep but... Everyone at the party was so warm and welcoming of brittany, and me, I mean, I felt like I was being treated more as an adult than before. I learned alot in the service today and it has been good being back home and I can't wait to come back for good in august. I showed a few people my videos and they thought they were good, funny and all around complimented them. But now I need to go to bed.

July 11th

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, now that thats done, My mom told me that she likes Brittany enough, and wouldnt mind her being part of our family. We went to Cape Cod with her aunt and uncle and they offered to have her stay with them while she got her stuff straight. Which means that everything is falling in place and God is opening all the doors we need. I am really glad. The only thing stopping us now is my ability to forgive and forget. And plus, we ate at a really great seafood place, and after we got back my mom took us all to friendlys, me my bro, and brittany. It was so good, I got the buffalo chicken strips. And after that me justin matthew and brittany went to walmart and walked around buying things for stuff for him for crosswalk, and now I need to get to bed.

July 10th

So I finally got my financial aid straightened out, AND I registered for my class i needed to. We went to the beach with Raquel and Italo and his sister. It was Alot of fun. cold but fun. me and brittany had NY System hot weiners, BK, and a mixture of Tropicana and vanilla bean mixed from Dunkin Donuts. And I am exhausted right now so I'm going to sleep...

July 9th

Posts from today:
10:33 AM
And we`re off! about to get on the highway heading towards the airport

11:16 AM
we are here and my bag was overweight so the total cost was 70 dollars... now on to security

11:23 AM
At security

11:29 AM
Through security

1:04 PM
on the plane but may have to reschedule

4:14 PM
I got rolled onto a flight at 9:05. After going all over the place, talking to like 3 or 4 counter attendants I FINALLY got a flight at 7:15. And apparently my bag is still going to Providence on the 9:05. It was so hard and so arduous to get this though.

5:33 PM
Heading to our terminal via bus now, brittany found out that there are a couple Dunkin Donuts here

7:11 PM
I am now on the plane to boston and then i will go get my bags later, but my mom is coming to pick me up

9:05 PM
Landed, touched down, back to earth...

9:15 PM
Off the plane and in the airport

11:59 PM
goodnight for now, glad to be home. But apparently my luggage got to providence at 5:37 PM, When i didn't, I don't have any idea how it happens or how that works but what ever...

July 8th

My brother's birthday. I called him to wish him a happy birthday, and then not much of signifigance happened till DnD except that I cleaned my closet out so I could bring some home to save room for the trip home in august. DnD was fun, We fought in a warehouse and found a dungeon and stopped for the night...

July 7th

My last day of work before I go home on thursday. It was a good shift, I went to the jewelry store after work when brittany was suppose to be picking me up. She got so scared and I felt bad because I made her worry about me. We went to the hill tonight and it was really pretty, thats pretty much my day.

July 6th

Been a good day overall, worked for 2 hrs , my phone was bleh so i replaced it, got a new debit card, had a great time at britts grandmas and uncles

July 5th

Woke up at 8:30 because Elder needed his tents. There was steam rolling off the lake and he told me he swam earlier and it was pretty cool so I took his word for it and jumped in... after changing of course. The water was warm and the light rain that was falling caused the fog, and it was all around me. after we left we went to church, were early for once, and came home and took a looooong nap. I am sunburned on my face, but hopefully that will go away and become tan. I worked tonight, it was soooo busy for a sunday night. its been busy all day from what I hear. But now is bedtime...

July 4th

Here are my posts for today:

4:40 PM
Oh my gosh! I just went tubing for the first time, it was soooo much fun . i am going to work now, probly gonna be late...

5:36 PM
At work... a half hour late....

8:16 PM
Off work and on the way... it got busy just as i wanted to leave... but now im out and not gonna get to the spot till mid firework

9:55 PM
I have alot of regrets in my life, stupid things, i missed the finale going to grab my camera, but nothing can compare to home, and this is just a cheap imitation that reminds me not to take home for granted.

12:42 AM
Awesome day overall, alot of firsts today, first tubing, first va 4th, first camping experience...we are roughin it cause we got no mo stuff. Goodnight...

July 3rd

Lazy day today, minus work. I worked 53 minutes this morning then a few hours later. Other than that I sat around, cuddled and napped with Brittany, and played the Sims 3. After I came back from work the second time I had a creative flash, wrote it down and went about listening to stephen play his guitar. It is very good. And I am very tired. So I am going to bed...

July 2nd

I went to Golden Corral for the first time today. Trey and Britt and I went, and I ate till my stomach screamed, waited a bit, then ate some more. It was all soooo good, but so bad for me. nice place tho. I just relaxed most of today otherwise, it has been a good day, I work a split shift tommorow though. So tired, gotta sleeeeeeep, OH and I just realized that today is the half way point of the year!!!! Yay! Only 182 days left, Happy Half Way Day!!!!!!...

July 1st

Tonight at DnD I spit on the golem, met the clerk (who happens to be a book, resulting in lots of questions and book related jokes), got punched for not knowing much about magic, got palmed in the head, and slapped by the book, yeah, it slapped ME. anyway, I am a little peeved everyone was picking on me but its whatever. Oh and Josh did something and invoked the God of Death and Destruction to come down and screw everything up. He possesed josh, killed the other 3 angels keeping peace in the land, and brought and end to everything everyone knew...

June 30th

Today I decided against remaking a new bed frame. However, Brittany and I rearranged my room. It looks really good, I really really like it. It is so awesome...

June 29th

I stayed up till 4 am playing the Sims 3. Oh MY! So late ugh. I got so little sleep. But I didn't work, I let felicia work for me. Britt and I designed a new bed frame. We went to Home Depot to get pricing for the wood I need. 53 Dollars... Still might make it. Still Tired.

June 28th

We went to church, I worked. Pretty normal day... Although the Sims 3 is invading and vanquishing my soul....

June 27th

I woke up a couple of times through the night, but other than that it has been a good day. We had biscuits and sausage gravy for breakfast and then went exploring, found a creek and a golf course and me and Britt walked the creek in bare feet and it was so nice. Then after we all came back I had to go back to grab a stick I left and got distracted manipulating the flow of water in a part of the creek I hadn't been to. And after we came home I went to the pool, and talked to my mom and showered and now I am going to sleeeeep...

June 26th

We had a bonfire and I didnt get a smore in time so all I got was marshmallow. There was a huge rain storm, along with more lightning than I have ever seen. A flash every second at its peak. I stayed in the rain and thunder as long as I could, then went back on the porch. Good thing too, a minute or two later lightning struck really close to the yard. If I was still out there it would have struck me. After that we came inside and wrestled, and I got a little too testosterone and needed a breather, but came back in and had a fist fight with someone and felt better. But we are trying to sleep now and downstairs everyone is watching a movie and it's soooo loud. I am about to play classical music to fall asleep to...

June 25th

We went to the beach today, Britt and I, and it was amazing. It was so much fun, We jumped through the waves, laid on the beach, and had the best seafood I have had in a while, REAL scallops, fried clam strips, fried oysters, and flounder, it was so good, and fighter jets kept flying over head. We are home now, and I am very tired but had a great time.

June 24th

Today at DnD during our week long trek to our newly acquired fort I was taken under the wing of our group druid. He gave me something that made me reexplore my inner selves, which ended up splitting my half elf mind into me, my human side, my elf side, and my spirit animal. It was great that after the "trip" we fought an Iron Golem and my wolf self showed me the weakness and i exploited it, helping them... and then I got knocked out. And now I'm going to bed...

June 23rd

Transformers 2 is SOOOOOOOOOOOO Goood. I saw it at midnight. and obviously it is after the time it says it is. but it was a great movie. So much reminded me of so many movies, megatron at one point reminded me of batman's vehicle. The Fallen reminded me of star wars. But otherwise great movie. I am excited for New Moon, simply because of the transformations of the werewolves... And I am kinda excited for the avatar movie... sorta... AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER, that show from nick. directed by M Night Shama- Llama - ding -dong. Oh my gosh. But anyway. Sleep now, I am sooo tired...

June 22nd

I worked today, then after work Me and Britt went to Barnes and Noble, Payless and Walmart, so now I have what I need from walmart, I returned my shoes, and got like 4 books. I am booked for a while... pun definitely intended. When we got to the walmart plaza they had evacuated everyone AGAIN. but after that my day was pretty much normal, pool, hang out, oh and Trey came over. But nothing extra spectacular...

June 21st

Today is father's day. I called my grandparents, talked to them for a bit before britt and I went to fridays with a couple from church. It was a very nice lunch. After lunch me and Brittany went to Barnes and Noble and I saw some books I wanted, so I will get them tomm.. After we got back we relaxed and went to the pool before I had to go to work. Work was slow for most of it, but it was pretty good. I got cheesy garlic bread for me and Brittany and it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good. Fajitas were made and were so good. However I bought shoes and needed insoles and um.... we went to walmart, and uh... got evacuated, for a fire...

June 20th

I am so excited she is home. We hugged and tickled each other and were just there for each other. Then I went to work, which got busy, then I pre-closed and brittany picked me up. I am so exhausted right now, my dad called me and thanked me for the card, I talked to him about going to lunch or dinner when I came home in July, he said if he can when he gets back from his vacation then sure. Also, he offered to have me over for lunch when I go home for good every so often...

June 19th

So I was informed today that my 1 month anniversary is coming up. On Sunday. i forgot... Anyway, I worked in the morning, came home, relaxed at the pool with T, jake's bro, and Jake, went to drop stephens phone off at his work, and went back to work. I got really tired, but I predicted a few things with some orders, One woman asked for a Davinci, and 2 of the 3 toppings i saw the columns she would pick from. And another guy was looking for his credit card and I knew it was a mastercard. Me and Britt had some deep conversations and I had a delicious salad with parmesian peppercorn dressing. So good, now bedtime...

June 18th

I didn't get alot of sleep. That voice was a bit louder today, it's a constant battle, but I know I will win, I have God on my side. I worked a split today, bad first half, after I got home I relaxed at the pool, came back, laid down for a minute, and then got up made the best grilled cheese ever. Garlic butter, mozz. cheese, ham, turkey, wheat bread and bbq sauce. After that I showered and went to work again. The second half was better, MUCH better. More entertaining. And here is why, I got hit on by a gay guy, he asked me my name age school, where home was and told me he'd come by to see me before I left... then he called back asking where I lived. It was pretty creepy, then I hung out with Stephen at work as he closed and took a bath when I got home and calmed Brittany down because she had a bad conversation and it really upset her. But I expressed my Protector nature and comforted her and was so enraged I had a desire to take action but she told me to stand down. Jake's brother is here, he is sleeping over. I am going to bed now... Goodnight ...

June 17th

D&D was full of roleplay, no battle this week, but it was really cool, I am a half elf built like me, and me and a 7 foot 2 minotaur were fighting over a chainmail shirt +1. He won his intimidate check vs. my diplomacy check. He held it over his head and I jumped for it and got punched in the face. He insulted my breed so I insulted the fact that he has only 1 horn and he tried to kick me and missed. Other stuff happened, we got home late and I am going to bed now.

June 16th

I need sleep. Work keeps my mind sharp. Not creative, just on the ball. I swam alot today. Good times, relaxing. I went to the sauna twice. Once with jake and once alone. I sweat so good. Off work tomorrow too. Goodnight...

June 15th

Crazy day. Jake and I were off and we stated the day off by going to Walmart. Jake got stuff and I got Brittany's surprise. Then we went by Moes and Leonardos to talk to stephen and I wanted a drink from my work. We got subs cause we were hungry and we watched Balls of Fury,well, tried to watch Toxic Avenger II, which is horrible by the way, and Jake couldn't stand to watch it so we changed it. After stephen got off and we decided against going to Virginia Beach, we went in the pool. I got out early to console Britt because she was very upset. I went to the pool after we all got back and swam for a bit to relax and center myself. Then trey showed up later and we decided to walk around Short Pump Mall. But FIRST we had to search for his glasses in some bushes. Because he jumped into them last week with some other friends so we walked until his pain reminded him of the bush and he walked into the bushes and found them. We hung out for a while but then he had to leave so me and jake hung there for a bit. Side thought. there were these two girls, woman, not really attractive, and I am being honest but from behind it was hard to tell. But when we pulled up they were walking to thier car and Jake just happened to park right next to the car. We passed them so we were ahead so it was pure coincidence. But regardless, comparitively they were a zero compared to my Brittany. And I don't remember what they looked like from behind but i do remember thinking their faces werent attractive. Aside over, After we got back we went to best buy and looked around for a bit then headed back to Leo's where I got a drink and worked out scheduling for next week with someone. We came home watched family guy and ate white cheddar mac and cheese before I came in my room to write and call Brittany and now I am blogging and then going to bed. Goodnight...

June 14th

Today I went to church as I usually do. I was amused because every once in a while the woman next to me and I pass notes like we are in High School. Today she and her husband wanted to take me and britt out to lunch but I asked to reschedule because Britt is in DE for the week. She said ok. The sermon was about "The Shame of 'Pride Month'". President Obama recently proclaimed June LGBT pride month. Here are some notes:

• "BAD - Behavioral Addictive Disorder"
• "A habit isn't something you have, it's something that has you"
• "God forgets sin, Satan tries to make us remember. But tell Satan that God forgets so we should too."
• "[Alternate Lifestyles] are only deviations until society views it as a normal thing within it.
• "Don't disassociate with those of the world that practice sins like in 1st Corinthians 6:9-12, just do so with those in the church that still follow those lifestyles.

And my Verse of the week scripture this week was Habakkuk 3:18 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will be happy in the God of my salvation." I am going to pray on this verse this week and hopefully I will take something from it. It is getting late so I should be getting to bed... I tanned for a bit today, and worked on some ridiculous Excel Spreadsheet for no reason other than a stupid Mafia app on facebook. Laugh when you look back at this, go ahead, do it. Goodnight...

June 13th

Ant Traps. See now you are interested. That's called a hook. Now you want to see what I am talking about. Today britt left to go to bobbie's so she could spend next week in DE. I looked up the place and I think she is going to have tons of fun. I am going to try and out tan her. Another goal for the week, write the script for Knox Episode 2. Today I put in writting that we aren't renewing the lease and put it in the office. Also, I worked, and got a good amount done, and after work had the biggest most amazing piece of garlic bread imaginable. I am going to bed so I can wake up tommorow for church. I have lots to do tomorrow. I miss her, but I am going to stare at the picture she surprised me with until she comes back. Our beta fish are crazy, I am letting them be calm to themselves at the moment but when I let them see each other OH BOY it is crazy. A few days ago Britt bought ant traps and so far they are working, as far as I can tell. And that is called the conclusion...

June 12th

I worked. ALOT. The rest of the time was spent with a wonderful girl. The most wonderful girl, aside from family. I went to walmart with them after work but jake had to pick me up cause of my toe thing... But I wasn't at my work I was elsewhere looking at stuff. Cool stuff. and she just told me she looked too. soo we are both looking but seperately. But I'm not buying a ring from walmart...

June 11th

We had breakfast at bobbies. then we visited britts Grandmother that once lived in RI. I found an old VHS camcorder in a case, and I played around with it and we ate chilli dogs and I had a hot dog with chicken salad on top, her grandmother and I reminisced about RI. as we were leaving she gave me a very tall tripod and the VHS camcorder. Later we went to D&D and it was fun because my character actually did something. While I was playing with a cat I was running and making it jump and stuff with a hanging feather thing. I slammed my pinky toe on a board and it hurt. Bed now :( ...

June 10th

alrighty, so today was super fun. me and brit dropped riccie and bobbie off at jake's work and hung out as a storm was rolling in. It got really intense and riccie and britt and I wanted to go storm chasing because we thought there may be a tornado. It was a GIANT cloud that looked like it had hit ground and we got as close as we can and the was heavy rains, heavier than I have ever experienced and tiny hail, but here is a trick, turn AM fuzz on during a thunderstorm and you can hear when lightning cracks. It's pretty cool, and right now we are at bobbie's house relaxin and eating food, I am looking at rings and eating mozzarella sticks before I lay down for the night in a blanket bed made by britt. Did you know elvis had fight scenes in his movies? I didn't but he does...

June 9th

I am an idiot, and idiot because I occasionally give people ideas and hopes only to have to crush them because I didn't think before I said anything. I told brit she should come home with me in august, and she got all excited, but now I feel bad because I brought up the fact that maybe it wouldn't work and she'd be stuck in RI. Not a bad place to be stuck I said, but still. But other than that I felt great today, thunderstorms, and a conversation about the future. I didn't fear it, I really like how we are together and everything we have so far. I honestly love her, we haven't argued, and if we did I can't see what it would be about. Although maybe I am hiding the crazy, or maybe I am a new person. New in myself and God, not new because she gave me reason to be. I didn't change for her, I changed before her. She is my blessing, and I thank God for her...
I dropped my goggles and spiderwebbed the shatter proof lens :( ...

June 8th

I got off work earlier than normal so that I could hang out with my guests, I was on the phone for almost half hour, ate every so often, drove with britt to drop eliza off at home. Then after we got back we hung out more then watched the fifth element and I made a funny video that I have posted to my youtube account. Look up Final Tire in The Face, super funny. Bedtime now, goodnight.

June 7th

:) Church today was really great, and then me and britt explored and she read my writings, and we relaxed then we had guests and its gonna be a fun week :)

June 6th

Work was, well, interesting... I learned somethings about a coworker,(recent breakup) did oven most of the time and pre closed and I have almost 30 hours. good paycheck next week. Well good enough... ok, well I am exhausted so I am going to bed now.

June 5th

Today was a good day, I worked most of my full shift, there was a couple that came in that had already eaten but I guess was buying food for someone else and ended up walking out saying to each other pretend like I'm not here, then the guy walked out sighing after the woman and child... RIDICULOUS!!!!! Other than that it was good and busy, after work I relaxed, burned my hand taking homemade garlic bread out of the oven, and went and saw The Hangover with Jake, Stephen and Britt, I saw the trailer for "The Final Destination" and a woman gets hit with a TIRE, if you knew the Dane Cook joke i am talking about you would understand. I think FD has done enough already, but maybe this is going to be good. I mean, 4 is too many so I guess you have to start putting The in front of titles, or taking it out in the case of Fast and Furious. The Hangover was a really funny movie, a group of guys trying to figure out what happened the night before and the funniness that ensues. Go watch it. Bed now, Britt is tucking me in. Goodnight...

June 4th

Today is the laziest day ever. I didn't go to bed till 4:30 something so me and britt stayed in bed for most of the day, the rest of it was spent acquiring items at walmart, misplacing her car in the parking lot, purchasing dough from my work, and visiting stephen for a bit. Then we went to bed. Tomorrow will be more active.

June 3rd

Big huge battle during DnD, it took like 2 hours and we only just started ish. I am taking on the big guy, and just realized i missed an attack i could have made. No worries though. I will get him next week. Financial Aid and CCRI stuff sucks now cause they are being stupid, I have to wait till it gets processed I suppose now. I am tired and will deal tomm...

June 2nd

I hit a little snag as far as classes go, the person couldn't find the class i needed but I found it and need to tell her tomm. morning. I am going to bed now and am sleeping so good, except that I need to wake up at 8 to catch the woman...

June 1

Me, Stephen, Jake, and Brittany went on a road trip to bobbies house, it was so much fun, it was only like an hour and a half but still, we made a trucker honk, I'm not talking like honk honk, I'm talking like he let that horn rip. Then we saw some people from penn and communicated non verbally to them, and it was fun cause we were dancing and stuff. We ate dinner at her house and when we came home we took her and her sister with us and went to walmart to pick up ingredients for some really good dough. However... I got a recipe for the wrong type of dough so it didn't exactly work right. But it was still tasty and I made the garlic butter right which made me happy. Bed now because I am exhausted.

May 31st

Tomorrow we pay rent. I work too. But today I saw the mountains, majestic ridges of earth shooting out the ground so high it seems like they touch the clouds. I went to places where I could see into the valley below and it was so amazing. I saw the blue ridge mountains and all there wonderful shades and hues, well, one hue, but plenty of shades. It was amazing just to be there and see all this, but what made it better was that I was with Brittany. She showed me the lodge and a rock just off from that. Then I saw other places below that seemed like I could get to so we explored and found plenty of cool places. I climbed back up the rocks like an animal and Britt couldn't look me in the eyes because of the expression in them. She showed me the meadow, and then we ate blackberry ice cream and fries, they were soooo good. Especially the ice cream... Then she showed me her rock, and all along the way I took pictures, until my phone died to the point it didn't want to take any more. While we were at her rock, a guy took our picture and it was all silhouette-y and we sat on the cliffs for a bit before heading back. She showed me the spot most people go to watch the sunset, and then we watched it somewhere else... But in between that we saw so many deer, we went back to the meadow and saw 9 bucks and got very close to them. I took enough pictures for a long time. Then we headed home, and I am going to bed now...

May 30th

Today we looked for fishy to buy, we decided on buying 2 betas, on red and one blue and putting them in a combo tank. It should look very cool... I also realized that I have a tick bite on my ankle and my mom thinks I may have Lyme disease. So I am going to the ER tomorrow to check it out. But as for now I am going to bed, and hopefully getting good sleep before having to wake up for church.

May 28th

I had a very good day. I was off work, so I waited around and did stuff while I was waiting for Britt to get back from her parents house, then when she got back we played video games and spent time together. Then Eliza came and we sat around and hung out, then we went shopping for me, and when we got back me jake stephen eliza and britt hung out then swam for an hour and then after we got back and took showers we relaxed and fell asleep watching almost famous. What I saw was good, and now I am going to bed because I have to work tomm.

May 29th

I thought of a story while getting a massage from Britt:
"It is set it the classical era, there is a man by his window, looking at the moon. It's blue light shinning over the lake. There is a woman in the room, his woman; she didn't have much of a bosom but she had a heart bigger than anyone, and that is why he loved her. Each night they would dance, dance for hours and come back to their house and lay in their beds dreaming of the next nights dance."
Aside from the poor punctuation I thought it was good. I worked most of the day, and just had a stupid quote... I farted and then sprayed my pineapple room spray and then said "Oh, that didn't help, now it smells like someone crapped on a pineapple." But yeah work, counter in the morning, hosting at night. It was fun. I made a new system for keeping the order in tack and it worked for the most part. I went to a party for like a half hour, it was ok, not the best, only a few people were there. It was pretty ok, they were playing quarters and while they werent looking i poured the equivilant of 2 shots of everclear into the cup and someone chugged it. They had no idea... it was funny. Bedtime now, or soon, I am eating delicious resses pie...

May 27th

Today was good. Well, for the most part. My day started by saying goodbye to Britt because she was headed home for the day and night to get some stuff. Work was crazy, some person didn't give the right phone number because they forgot the area code... And didn't know it was long distance so they had to do that... so the driver couldnt contact them and neither could we and the boyfriend called and I think I was on oven. Someone else called and ordered a bunch of stuff and didnt know where to meet the driver, then she complained about her food so we had to give her a restaurant credit. I dealt mostly with that woman. Then when I got home me and stephen watched Toxic Avenger on On Demand, it such an '80s movies. From the very begining, the title comes in all like booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, with the trail and then the trail catches up and its like TOXIC AVENGER. basic plot, nerd gets bullied till he jumps out a window into acid and gets mutated and beats people up then the corrupt mayor wants him dead but love prevails and stuff. I think we swam for a bit, but when we came back we played Rainbow Six Vegas 2 for a while. Then we went to D&D and had a pretty good session in my opinion and then had some good developments plot wise, then at around 1 ish after talking for an hour or so we realize stephens car is dead, dead dead. So we called jake and left stephens car there. And when we got home I am blogging then FLOPPING into bed, well actually just flopping, I am blogging the next day but its all the same...

May 26th

"Sometimes life feels just like rain, cause you never when it's gonna fall down on you."

It's raining lightly now, I knew it was coming, and in life if you know a rough spot might hit you can get out your hypothetical umbrella. But if you are blindsided like a summer rain, then just roll with it, and you will survive.

My girlfriend is sprawling out on my bed right now. She is a goof, a goof who made the apartment dessert, cherry cheesecake, YUM. Jake made a delicious dinner and we made a few trips to walmart, but it all worked out. I called jess because we were looking for something that she made that we found in walmart and jake suggested it. So I did, and I was so backhanded mean. I sounded so happy, and I am I really really am. So happy that I am going to go to bed now...

May 25th

There is no rational behind this, no reason I can see, it just makes anger swell up within me. Overwhelming me, consuming every bit of me. Alcohol and its consumption by minors, and the condoning of such acts. Yes I know that it isn't the top thing on people's "To do List" and that the legal age used to be 18, but it's not. And it makes me more than uncomfortable, at first it is an uneasy feeling, like you just ate something spicy and your stomach is deciding what to do with it. But the more it happens, and the more I am reminded of it the worse it gets, and I don't want to voice my opinion because nobody today cares, and because I have no case. Like I said, I don't know why I don't like it, but I just don't. I don't like that atmosphere, I don't like anything about it. But I think mostly what it has to do with is my overprotectiveness of my girlfriends. I just don't want anything bad to happen I guess. But I don't know. And that song I was writing, or attempting to write, started off as an I am too good for everyone song, like why am I so great when I can't find that perfect person. Noone is perfect, I myself am severely flawed, but I guess that it is the perfectionist in me that desires my whole world to be perfect, to meet such impossible standards that I will end up alone, with nothing, I may dream big, think like a visionary, but if I can't ... I lost my train of thought, my roommate has upsettedly got up and is cleaning, and I believe I just lost another thing that I care about. Unless my subconscious is so deeply manipulative that it fools me into thinking these things, into playing its games, just for the thrill, well I won't have any of it, I will fight it, and I will get back what I have lost, final, end of story. And without words, except I'm sorry... And she wasn't upset, I was mistaken.

Or MAYBE, it's just that I know I am not perfect, and have not met my own expectations and my brain constantly reminds me of it. I have failed myself, and that is the worst person you can ever fail, because if you are like me, you aren't one to let it go so easy...

May 24th

Good day today, took Britt to church, a couple funny things happened. An old woman gave her a mint because she was coughing and stuff, it was funny, then she held in a cough and the woman next to us thought it was a sneeze, so did I, and gave her a tissue. We got a ride home and she made fried chicken for us. We went swimming for a little bit and now her and Stephen are watching Taken and I am trying to go to sleep...

May 23rd

I got an ok sleep, I woke up every few hours to the cuckoo clock, I lost count of the rings. We played at her house for a while, Stephen and I snapped the zip line, it hurt, it hit me across the shoulder, I have a nice bruise/welt. Then it got super hot so we went to Stephen's house and swam in the pool, jake wasn't there because he had to work. By the time we got to his house we weren't hot anymore, and the pool water was kinda cold. Stephen took me and britt to the cove of Lake Anna, Louisa VA's very own man made lake/nuclear reactor cooler. We swam for a bit, and it was really fun. I want to go fishing, but anyway, we got back and ate a chicken dinner and me and britt explored the propertybefore heading home, where I am currently in bed, but I found a tick on me, and had stephen get it off me. I am going to bed now...

May 22nd

Graduation was so nice, Britt got me a ticket and I sat pretty close, it was on the football field and we all sat in the bleachers, I took pictures as my friends got their diplomas. After all the commotion and everyone meeting up outside the stands I met Britt's grandmothers, aunt and uncle (not married to each other, i don't think). Later I was told that they liked me from the impression I gave, which makes me happy because I don't think I'm that bad of a guy. Then I helped Eliza get her car out of the mud on the hill, paid for her to get gas because she didn't have her license, and I think something else but I don't remember. But anyway, Bobbie (Girl) Eliza Jake Stephen Britt and I went to Eliza's for food and Ice Cream cake! I really like ice cream cake, especially the oreo like crumblies in the middle. We played in the tree, on the trampoline, the hammock, and all around her property being ninjas and such. It was fun. We are staying here because it's late and I hope I get some sleep on the couch. My khakis are like big pj pants...

May 21st

As of 11:27 AM I am no longer a single man. I have an amazing girlfriend, we think on the same wavelength and we like alot of the same things and just have a great time together. And as of 8:31 PM we told each other we loved each other while watching the sunset. Probably one of the more romantic things I have ever done. She graduates highschool tomorrow, and I am going to see her do so. Me stephen and laura went swimming in the pool today, kinda chilly but above expectation. Then we gambled with chips and now I am going to bed. Goodnight existance, we shall resume our goings on when I awaken...

May 20th

I am just all sorts of confused because my new roommate wasn't supposed to move in or come visit till saturday, so I keep thinking it's Saturday, or that tomorrow is Saturday, but regardless tonight we played D&D and it went very well considering everything, and we have 2 new players, my new roommate and someone named rebecca. I am tired now, so I must sleep...

May 19th

So I have a new roommate. It is a girl, a very pretty girl, I am working on a song right now, the chorus is written, and I will write the song on here and my other blog tomorrow, or whenever it is finished. well right now I am tired and bedtime shall be NOW... or soon.

May 18th

My mind is frayed, my body weakening, succumbing to illness I meditated today, and shared the energies of my heart and mind, I am more one with myself and God. However, Satan attacks from all fronts, so I must be vigilant, people I hadn't spoken to in a while texted me, and I felt it was Satan tempting me. But I must sleep so my body does not break.

May 17th

So much for sleeping when I wanted to, but regardless, I must work tomorrow, and Tuesday, but after that I can sleep as long as I want and have lots of lazy days. I am excited for this weekend and hope i can get sleep before then. Naps are a necessity. A must you might say, but bed is calling and so I will answer.

May 16th

Interesting day today, I didn't work until 5:30 so Stephen and I went to the mall and bought food and a video game. Then I worked, it was good pacing and when I got home I watched Dane Cook, and while talking on facebook and washing dishes the pipe under the sink came loose and it leaked all over the kitchen... BUT I cleaned it all up WITH a SHAM WOW, all the water, it was awesome, and now sleep is awesome...

May 15th

She has 7 days until she graduates. 7 days until I can hold her whenever we feel it needed. But the fear is setting in deeper and deeper. I think it is a great way to spend my remaining 3 months, she is an amazing girl, and I could not see myself with anyone else. I am amazed at how much she feels for me. I need sleep, sleep is soooo good tight now. I am typing with my eyes closed. I opened them. I need to go to bed. goodnight...

May 14th

I am becoming closer to being ready... ready for what you ask... well, a short potentially life changing relationship and the L-word, but one step at a time, although I may have them out of order. In my own time she and I say. She will be there when I decide to jump, so wait we shall, but how long can one wait before the wait is done, which will come first the jump or one of us walking away. I am afraid that I don't trust myself to make smart choices, I am afraid I will not be able to do what I need to do in order to successfully be in a relationship. Because to those of you that don't know, there is a singular point you can stand on, the midpoint between so many factors, but with the right person it is effortless, and I so hope that this is it, as far as right people go. I don't know how much more failure I can take. God has never left me and as far as I think I am still an effective young man of God, Throughout my time on this Earth and as a Child of God, I have matured in him, and have become steadfast in my faith, not unshakable, but My roots will always be planted in him. I am very sleepy. I watched Jon Stewart and then an interesting half hour documentary on the history and range of sex toys. random tidbits of information, entertaining and educational. Again, going back to the fine lines, it is a series of fine lines, leading to the point of overwhelming emotion. And I think I am ready or at least almost ready to take the plunge. But the question is ARE YOU? you know who you are... Oh, I saw star trek the movie and it was good, it made sense, it made it possible to change the time stream of star trek for reasons i cannot reveal. BUT, Leonard Nemoy was Spock Prime!!!!!!! So very fascinating, but regardless, bedtime now, wake time later...

May 13th

Ok, so today, I woke up more tired than usual, but still able to move, so after my shower stephen, his grandpa and I went to go retrieve ben's couch to put it in place of the old one. It didn't take very long to get the couch in the truck, and while on campus we got transcripts mailed where we needed them. I need to apply for classes soon, very soon. Now, the hard part was getting the older, larger couch out of the building. It was flipped, carried, twisted and pushed to the dumpster where it will remain till it gets picked up. I am excited about our newly redesigned living space, it makes me happy. Later tonight stephen and I will be heading to a friends house to start our summer Dungeons and Dragons campaign. I will let you all know how it went tommorow. Oh, and I have been talking to Britt most of today, and everything is working out. I took a very nice bath moments ago, and will be departing soon.

May 12th

I finally bought my stuff for my character. I made a couple people in my world smile. And I got to hear Britt's voice, as well as got to make some funny awkward comments. But regardless, teehee. Goodnight

May 11th

I am the beginning of change
the start of something bigger then myself
but I will be the one to get the ball rolling
I am stronger than before
more able to succeed
I am wiser
able to make better choices
I am the start of something good
Something memorable
And it will all stem from me

Today has been a good day for me. I worked for a good while, then i sat around till 2 and then got trained briefly to be a waiter, it should be fun. I'm excited. I'm listening to The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus' Your Guardian Angel. It makes me happy and sad at the same time, it reminds me of the past, shines a light on the future and reminds me i'm still human. replacing one song linked to a series of events with another is the best way to get over something. Same thing with a location. Bad memory happens, go back a while later and have a different memory and you will think of the closer memory. At least, when you have a clear head. The problem is that it may happen that all the thoughts will be rolled into one, and if it happens too often then it will lose meaning. My question is "could this happen with something intimate like a kiss or something more?" Can something like that lose value if it happens too much with too many people? I think that it really all depends on the person and what they mean to you. It really is all in the kiss. If you deep inside feel nothing, the kiss will be nothing. the other day I walked by a girl and her smell was intoxicating, woah, that made me feel like a knife got stabbed through my heart. That and the thought of an exhilerating kiss for all the wrong reasons. I am excited about finding the one, whether I have or havent yet, I am excited for that day when I will get to walk down the aisle and make everyone proud. My brain is currently filtering thoughts from one of the two minds, and I am trying to switch. Women aren't conquests, they aren't things to be lusted after, not things to be desired, not to be treated like "conquering" them is some sort of achievement like an XBOX. Women are beautiful, like flowers, and they are to be treated as such. Cared for and about, treated like they are special, given attention to. Now that I say that Satan is going to give me an onslaught of thoughts that will destroy my consciousness, without God that is. That was more an out loud filter, I am amazed at my current ability to discern between thoughts of one mind or another, or at least thoughts from that mind. It really helps to shut them down when you know what they are. But I am going to go to bed, and have some weird dreams, and all that jazz...

May 10th

Happy Mother's Day!!! I talked to my mom today for about an hour using the webcams. It was nice, then later on I talked to my aunts and little cousins, and my brother was there for a bit, but I scared on of the little ones with the effects on my camera. It was funny. We still have not gotten the couch from ben, however we have a tentative date of retrieval, Wednesday. On other note, I am learning more and more to rely on God to help filter my thoughts, specifically certain ones. And so far it is working fairly well. But regardless, I texted britt for a little while today, I said happy mothers day to her mom and her mom personally thanked me, kinda made me smile. I am such a nice guy sometimes, so parent friendly. There is a thrill to the realization that you have "your balls back" as in you have stopped the control of someone, but there is also a thrill of attraction and the love path. I have yet to find out the true thrill but I will one day. I am sure of it, but for now I will sleep, and dream dreams of honey and LSD, well, my dreams are weird so I have to put that in there...

May 9th

Her: "Your feelings and emotions present a challenge for me, though I feel that it is a good challenge and one that I simply cannot turn away from."

Me: "I am also glad that I am a challenge for you. My true emotions are like a rubix cube wrapped in a sudoku buried under a mass of unsolved algorithms. Solve them if you dare..."

Her: "Oh I dare... I SO dare..."

I am so glad that you dare to do it. Not many have truly taken up the challenge, and those that do turn away, seeing as it is usually filled with booby traps, but the guard in control of them has been put away/ is on a "vacation". But you, you are different, you have stepped up to my challenge, accepted the challenge to solve my true emotions, and I am sure you will be the one to help me figure it out.

I made a D&D character today, a rouge class half elf diplomat with alot of slight of hand. I also finished my adventure with emma and kaitlyn with a fiery end. So, over the past few weeks we have been having people over on wednesday and they kept hearing buzzing in the couch out on the porch so today stephen decided to be the bee master and get rid of them. At first he would run up cut a piece and loop around and repeat, then he armored up and did it again, and after a pass or two and a few released bees later I worked up the nerve to go out there and tape from out there, oh i forgot to mention I taped all this. So then he dug through the one cushion they had taken residence in and then after letting a few more out, decided to finish them off for good with a good old fashioned flamethrower put out with red koolaid. The fire destroyed a good deal of cushion and it looked like the couch was bleeding when we put it out the first time. then I put leather gloves on dug the rest of the cushioning out and found eggs, which we proceeded to eradicate as well before finally moving the couch out to the dumpster. That has been my evening, church tommorow, sleep now...

May 8th

Man movie night...
here are the movies:
Quarantine - professional camera version of a zombie cloverfield
Transport 3 - 75 feet and you see red, boom...

It's 5 AM, I dont think I'm going to get sleep. It's ok, sunrises are beautiful, whenever it will get here. I am good at any hour it would seem. I am thinking about playing halo 3, in our redesigned living room! It has something of a consistent decor, a smaller entertainment center, a couple touch lamps, and it looks really good.

May 7th

I am finally done with my classes, I took my last exam this evening, I studied for a couple hours before hand, and I think I got the grades I desired. On a more thought provoking note, it is my belief, and most recent discovery that there are 3 minds, three different thought streams to a person. The first is the brain, the thought center, any thought involving intellect, or problem solving comes from this mind. The next is the heart, the unbridled center of emotion, when set free it can be creative and the limits of the heart are truly phenomenal. The last is the sex organ, and for me and many guys I think it is harder to filter then it is for women, but this mind is an interesting one, a single track mind unlike the others, there is one goal, and when the stimuli are correct it will overtake the rest of the minds. The brain is a filter for the other minds, but it is also where fabrication can take place, those who are fake, wear masks, or suppress aspects of themselves utilize this mind. It is my belief though that only one of the other minds can be used at one time. My goal is to unleash my heart and explore how amazing it can be to be free, free through Christ, and to figure out how to flip the switches and what makes what happen. Life is an exploration, no one person can write the guidebook for everyone else. You just have to make it yourself, and that takes time, but once you have the answers there is the exam, and that's never easy. So get out there and live each moment like there might not be another one, but don't stress, God has it under control; sometimes it might seem like your life is a car drifting around a corner, controlled loss of control, it depends on who's perspective you are looking from. Now on a less thought provoking note, I thought about posting some of my poetry from 2008, so here is one:

Angel of Death

I am the angel of death
Wings
Wrapped around the community
Like a snake
Constricting until all life is gone
Devouring
Like a fat man and cake
Death
Comes inevitably

And on a lighter note:

Cleansed

I am cleansed
By God
The New Year
Brings a clean slate
That I can work on
I feel clean
For once in a very long time
Cleansed of impurities
And Sin
Wiped clean of my old self
Brought into the light anew
Love
Has conquered all
Like A Shimmering blade
Slicing away
At the face of the old
Ushering in the clean shaven new
Cleansed
At Last

Those are from the beginning of last year. I seem to be constantly doing battle with these dark thoughts but one way or another, Jesus picks me up and carries me, leaving only one set of footprints, but there always the two of us. I find my way back to him and I survive. I believe that no matter how hard it will get, that I will always have at least one person to get me back to where I am good again, Jesus Christ, My Lord, My Savior. And nothing will ever change how I feel but to deepen that faith...

Now, let me explain how I feel about this four letter word. That word that can change things for anyone anytime. It scares me, when I think about it it makes me feel like I am trapped in my own skin. and I fear that I will be trapped, and not able to experience life, and live the way I want, I don't want to feel guilty for doing something, unless I outright cheat, but that is if I am exclusive, but its also that exclusivity that scares me, I don't like distance, I like having the ability to be with you whenever I want or need, I don't want to feel like if I need you I can't get to you, or I can't reach out. But at the same time, I don't want things to get too regular, too routine. I want that when we talk its special, and not required, or expected. If I feel far away then bring me closer, but I want you to understand that I want us to be able to have lives apart from each other and that our time is not exclusively devoted to the other. Ok, there. Sorry if that was blunt...