March 31st

Good day, they still don't know whats wrong with me, but, I am pretty much over Jess, I am still on a quest to find myself. I talked to stephen, and i went to pick up stuff, and WE HIT A DEER!!! my first deer accident ever. One deer went by, he slowed for the second then the third just came out of nowhere and nailed the passenger side wheel well, scared me so bad. Then on the way home we almost hit a raccoon. and I am going to bed now...

March 30th

Today was a rocky day, I finished the religious conversation I was having with the guy Jess likes, Jess finally told me to stop talking to her. I think it's best for both of us, just to give each other space. It will help us get over each other, so we can move on. And a newish friend of mine was talking to me, and she told me that I need to learn to love myself, and see that I am a good guy before I can love anyone else. I think she is right, and I am going to try and reach that point through my everyday, and each day get closer and closer to loving myself. Not thinking of myself as son tainted man whore who nobody that I would want would accept me, to thinking of myself as a good guy, that may be flawed but thats okay, at least I am happy with myself even if nobody else is. And I need to work in that direction, and I know I can do it, with positive feedback and constructive criticism from my friends and family, the people that know me best. I am in a much better mood now. I will let her enjoy herself, and I will discover myself, and one day find that happy ending...

March 29th

Alright, so today I went from ignored, to yesterdays news to eh to friend, to best friend to fuck off. during the course of a day. She is so torn up, and it makes me feel something similar to when someone dies. But hey, look at the bright side, now I get to focus more attention to God, and what he wants for my life.

March 28th

So about that car, it's crap, so i am deciding not to buy it unless he drops the price significantly or fixes it more. But good day, I tried following stephen on his return from Pa, but google streetview is hard to click fast enough. Got some homework done, a little bit, and went for a walk which was very insightful and calming. And now I am going to bed...

March 27th

Good Day overall, I had a good day at work, got sent home early cause we were slow, but other than that, I think things are going well. And there is a car for sale I might try and get my hands on.

March 26th

Today was good. Apparently I am the easiest person to train at work, good day, super funny med student was ranting about her group project at Shafer today, very funny, good day. Goodnight...

March 25th

Did good in work, it was slow so i got sent home early, WAY early, like 4o mins. But tommorow will be fine, I am ready. I feel better, which is good, but I am tired, so I am going to bed, Goodnight...

March 24th

I feel torn, I feel broken, I am falling apart and I have set a time schedule for myself and shit comes along and messes it all up, and it upsets me, it upsets me alot. I am going to be so tired tomm. thanks to a 2 hour convo with jess, that mostly involved arguement, unnes. and it pulled me away from what i was doing but i can never get that time back. So I have no idea how I am suppose to be awake and alert for my exams, at this point i can only get 7 hours sleep, I am exhausted already, I dont need anymore, but yet more is put on me. and I am angered, deeply. But I had to be the nice guy, but im not a nice guy, and its clear that i'm not, so very clear, but yet she keeps running back to me, why i ask myself why. If I knew the answer I would be a better person, but right now I am so angry, not just because of that, but because I have noone to be open and upset to, my only pillar of support, the only one that wouldnt lecture me is gone, and I can't get it back because it was their personal choice. I cannot work things out because I am single handedly crushing not only my own life but theirs as well. And it's not fair, and it's not right. But I need to sleep, and I need to vent.

March 23rd

Good day at work, I took a test for my position and got them all right. And then after i got home, shit fell apart, I got into an argument, and I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.

March 22nd

Well, I finally got my sundae, and spilled some on my bed. I am getting work done, and am very tired, today was good, Jess and I got to the train station, and i made it back to my apartment in time to walk to church, so I went to church and came home, ate, did a project, and read some for my exam wednesday, I also took the best bath I have ever taken. But I must retire to bed, so goodnight, and keep me in your prayers.

March 21st

Today Tacksi Dryffer created himself a brother, named Trahk, yea, Trahk Dryffer, laughter abounds. She tried distracting me but she laid down, its ok, I had a good day, jess made some really good sweet and sour meatballs, the sause is made of grape jelly and chilli sause. But I must sleep for i am beyond tired.

March 20th

Its the first day of SPRING!!!!!!!!!!! I drew on the calender.. anyway, i worked the busy shift, and it was, well, busy, I think i like working days better tho, ppl are alot nicer.. Jess is rubbing my chest trying to distract me, its comforting and feeeels good. back to my day, went to the bank, ate pizza, and now she is teasing me, but i had cheesy garlic bread, and by the way discounts ROCK! even small ones, but anyway, bed time, and i kinda want an ice cream sundae...

March 19th

Work was busier today but i think i rose to the challenge. I answered alot of calls, and I got off and got home as fast as possible and watched the end of the prestige with jess and stephen and then i was just excited to see jess, so I am going to go to sleep, I work 5-7 tomorrow, a busy shift yipee. Good Night...

March 18th

Today was a pretty good day, pretty busy wake up till bedtime, prep for work, work, prep for school, school, on campus waiting for a ride, walmart, cleaning for Jess's arrival tomorrow. Anyway, I had a great day at work, it was alot to learn but I will get it eventually. I am pleased with my performance and so are the two managers that trained me. I am doing fairly well, I am super excited for tomorrow, I cannot wait! Bed Time now, the time is now 00:00

March 17th

So I went in for my interview today, that told me a few pointers, gave me the uniform and I start tommorow 10:30-2 then thursday 11-2 and friday 5-7. then i take on full stuff next week. it's gonna be so awesome, I am super excited. Oh and I picked up stephen as Tacksi Dryffer, a fake Arab ish taxi driver, and as we were coming home i started dancing at a stop light with cher playing and my window down, these guys next to me were watching and laughing, it was fun. Bed now, big day tommorow...

March 16th

I had a long day. Lots of planes, I rode in a prop plane from providence to laguardia. It was cool, amazing view. Its different, i was a little scared at first but it was fine. and then I taxied in laguardia on my second flight for like 35 minutes, but no bother. Anyway, I rescheduled my interview for tomorrow so I will have more time to get ready. Bedtime now...

March 15th

Ok, Long Day, Short Blog. Amazing Church today, then we went to a restaurant and left cause the food was too expensive but got drinks which were on the house, we left a 2 dollar .10 cent tip. then we went to friday's and got good food and talked about addiction, great family discussion. Then I saw watchmen with my mom. If you have seen it, you can imagine the awkward at some points. then i saw my grandparents, I miss them so much. Now im on here after i packed and set up the router, Goodnight...

March 14th

Alright day overall, I watched the new power rangers, they recruited a new ranger and i thought, hmm now lets get you all black tops, because they recruited a black ranger. Then I ran to catch the bus to go to the mall so that got me pretty wiped out, but i saw an old friend on the bus and got talkin' to her and her friend and then we parted ways and i wandered the mall for hours. then i napped, got up saw my grandparents for a little while and went to see my aunt for accounting tutoring, not doing so great in that class. But i most retire to bed now, before I fall asleep at the keys...

March 13th

Today has been an interesting day, my feet itched from the fungus, but i got my stuff tonight so i am good now. I helped my cousin Justin with a computer for his dad on his HD TV which is awesome. anyway, I had neurofeedback and that went well, and I don't really think anything else happened, OH, A job I applied for called me to set up an interview just to tell me a few things before i start next week.

March 12th

Good day overall, everything seemed to work out, i got through airport security easy and got from one flight to the other in the nick of time, albeit i had to change my flights because of the fact that the one plane was 48 minutes delayed, which meant i couldn't catch my connecting flight so bad results if I wasn't notified, but i was so no worries there. Good to be home, now bed time...

March 11th

Well, today i applied for more places, got a couple hopes and a couple let downs, but its fine, I am doing better, and stephen and I filmed something else today, they should be up on Funny or Die and youtube within the next few weeks, more to come...

March 10th

More work done on the video, now called West End Hooligans. Nothing done as far as homework, not great, but i'm going to bed now because i am super tired.

March 9th

Today was good, I did alot of edits on the video we filmed the other night, it is over 22 minutes long, documentary style, so funny, i made some delicious corn tortilla chips, but now bed time...

March 8th

So today I had an argument with this guy cause he was being creepy, and church was good, it made me feel better about myself, but me and jess are losing ground, and i don't know how to feel about it. I feel like it is gonna have to happen at some point, but i don't want it to happen now, and i just forced her off the phone so i could write this, so now i'm gonna go hang out with friends...

March 7th

Oh my, i just got done filming a docu-crime, or something, i am going to be so tired tomorrow, so very tired, but i had tons of fun, fake Breaking and Entering, funny stuff, any way bedtime...

March 6th

Today I got ALOT done, i mean i canceled my Wachovia account, paid VCU, cashed my scratch ticket, and even applied for a job, now all i gotta do is homework...

March 5th

Hello there, I have returned from jake's birthday dinner, and am very happy, I played billiards and was really good, and got lucky alot, and had a few skill shots, and a few skill scratches, but after the great food and fun times, jake needed me to drive his car cause his license is expired, it was a whole bunch of fun, i love his car, but i am tired now, more tommorow...

March 4th

I missed class today, stephen left his keys in jake's car and he worked till 9, so i couldnt get to class. I have a exam tommorow, in accounting, grrrr, but hey, i am going to jakes birthday dinner tommorow after class...

March 3rd

So, today i relaxed, and went to saxbys to apply for a job, and was told to come in later to actually turn it in when a manager would be there, and when i got there he wasnt there, and the guy said call back every day and that they might not be hiring till next month, but to call back every day, so i will, because i need money, however its really hard when you know that you will have another oh i worked for 4 months then had to quit cause i was moving 500 miles, but it's whatever, today will be a better day...

March 2nd

University got canceled because it snowed so much, it's so cool, I didnt do anything today, like nothing at all, except sled, and it was fun, it reminded me of home, which again, i love, more tommorow...

March 1st

Today it snowed, I love snow, it doesn't usually snow in virginia, richmond anyway, and it reminds me of home, and i love home, we all made a giant snowman, it was incredible...