January 31st

I ALMOST GOT SCREWED. The guy I was selling my laptop to was sending me fake paypal emails and never paid me. Its up on ebay now, but i don't have time to wait for it to come back, so I am buying my laptop now.

January 30th

Today was a good day, I still have no computer, I am satillite bloging through my mom. ... I actually put my clothes away and I haven't been able to go out and I haven't beenable to sent the package out. It should go out tomorrow. If nothing else goes wrong. I will keep you posted...

January 29th

I got payed and am shipping it out as soon as i can get to a ups store. This is utter craziness, eShopping is nuts. anyway, I had an accounting exam and think i did well in it. I will find out later. I am slowly losing my mind without a working computer close by. This isn't going to work for much longer...

January 28th

Last night was fun, friends visited, we watched people attempt to stand on the blue balls, but before that, stephen, jake, katie rae, danielle/dani and I went to shafer and ate for 3 and a half hours. Stephen made hilarious oranges, he drew faces on them and made captions. And I ate to my stomachs content, then we went to our apartment and hung out and watched tv, and found some rediculous sex tips thing on HBO, hilarious, but hosted by a naked woman. then we watched blue harvest and I passed out. then the guests left and i went to bed. I woke up and got classes straight, accepted the offer on my laptop of $730 plus $80 for shipping, the laptop i am going to buy costs $700, and $35 for a case, I am ending up with a bonus. Life is working out, and it's all Gods doing. Thank you God...

January 27th

I believe i previously said I am selling my laptop, and I am currently accepting someones offer and will have a BRAND NEW laptop by next week. AWESOMENESS!!!!! Today I had the hottest calzone that the cooks at Stephen's restaurant could make, it pumped me full of endorphins and hot spicy deliciousness, I will keep you updated on the digestion, but i am hungry and must depart...

January 26th

Greetings from the land of perceived sanity, I bring you warm welcome. And cookies... Well, no cookies, but warm welcome, yes. Oh and in case you were wondering, I am karma's bitch. karma smacks me around when i'm dumb... which occasionally is frequently. Ok, philosophy time.......... In order to find peace, breathe in nature's beauty. There, that's my philosophic moment. it was incredible, an unexplainable phenominon, but its cool, try warming your hands and you will feel calm, its very cool. I have an incredilble mind state right now. woah, alright, time to go...

January 25th

I am super tired, catching some sort of illness, and am watching mortal kombat: annilation, good stuff, but I have class tommorow, and I got to church late today and the doors were locked, i was 2 mins late, the doors are never locked, but they were today. Well, it is on and I must depart...

January 24th

Hello Again from my world, I just ate half a large Papa Johns pizza by myself while attempting to super clean my appt, I should have started earlier, but I will finish tommorow, and it is gonna be amazing. But i must return to it, it is my mission to clean, and i will fulfill my mission...

January 23rd

Ok, so, i fell asleep on the couch and really need to remember to blog sooner, seriously, on, I got my computer back. And everything appears to be fixed! it's amazing, now, anyone want to buy a laptop for $700? any way, I must be getting to bed, apologies on the short blog, but hey, you need a break after yesterday...

January 22nd

Do you believe that people can change?

I don't, I think people are no more than preprogrammed units who have set tendencies and change is no more then the supression of those tendencies. People always slip, they will always revert back to what they were before. As much as someone says it's behind them, it is ahead of them at one point or another.

Now, to address another concern. If you believe my blog is about you, ask me, because it probably isn't but if it is I will tell you, if not, I won't say what it is about. Thank you for reading my blog, if that is you read my blog more than just today, but if you just started, you have some catching up to do.

So about yesterday, I have recently realized that there is a time conflict with the lab attached to one of the classes I am currently enrolled in. It is passed the add drop period so I cannot drop it without reprocussion, but at the same end, I need to add a class to make up for the lost credits. SO, i had to see the secretary about my class conflict, she was no help, i ran up and back from the computer lab getting printed proof that it conflicts, also, she told me come back when the other person is there, which is like a half hour from when i was there. I then decide my advisor would be more help, she finds out that the only lab i can get into is getting canceled so i have no choice but to rearrange, I choose to drop the class and pick up something else, requiring an override. She directs me to a few classes, and I head over to the business side after their lunch break. Then I wait for a while, only to find that they refuse to give me an override because I dont have enough background to get into what is in their minds a hardcore programing class that has scared many away from the info systems major. I am now set to take classes like intro to spreadsheet/database/word processing, unless i can take a test to show that i have sufficiant knowledge to take the intermediate courses of spreadsheet and word processing.

And so that has been my time so far. Spending my free time doing anything and everything to get my future back on a track I can believe in...

January 21st

Ok, so today was ridiculous, more on that tommorow morning, well, I found a computer so yay! I blogged, oh and I ate for a long time tonight, hanging with friends is cool, that is all for now...

January 20th

Hello,
I have had an overall good day, i feel better; I felt horrible because I had someone over and got all roughed up in a sexy kinda way, made me feel dirty. But i am done feeling bad for myself, I am a bigger man then that. Every day comes with a new lesson, and the key to being an adult is recognizing that and learning whatever lesson there is to learn. Life can be hard, and it will be as long as you ignore the lesson, but once learned the trouble seems to pass, this is my own personal experience. We go through life, hard times especially to learn, and to grow, we cannot be stagnant or life will always be troubling, and we will never grow...

January 19th

I am sleep drunk and on the phone, and I made a bad choice, and karma hit me, and its not stopping, and i am on the verge on losing alot that i care about, i am just really tired, i need sleep write more tommorow...

January 18th

Ok, so, i need a car, and a job, and a tutor, and drive to do what i need to. Life just gets me down some times, most times, i havent had a computer for almost 2 weeks. I need that thing, but i am seeling it, so i'm not gonna have one for longer. I think its all going bad cause i am straying from God a little bit. I have no idea tho, it could be anything, i just need to get all my stuff straight. I can't fall off the ball now, I just can't. I need help, alot of help...

January 17th

Ok, so, stephen and i watched bride wars with some friends (all girls, cause no guy would want [as in suggest] to go see a chick flick, unless he was gay, suggesting to watch it with a girl he fancies[we did not suggest it] , or he is on a mission to see every movie out.) anyway, MASSIVE CHICK FLICK, funny at some points, but guys shouldnt see chick flicks, but this one, seriously, plot points came out of no where, the entire plot was flipped upside down, then back, then oh my gosh, artistically though, it was a good film, but from my stand point as a guy... WHAT!? see it anyway, see what i mean, "i like your hair, honestly, you look like a tall...sexy... ... smurf." i saw tropic thunder again, and it references so make other movies, if u have seen them you would know, good stuff, that i deffinately recommend...

January 16th

Greetings again, from the land of insight and boredom. I have beaten Call of Duty : World at War Co-Op with a roommate, in one sitting, it was pretty cool, I mean it took them 4 years and it took me just over 4 hours. Anywho, it is so cold, so very very cold. My ride, stephen's car didn't want to start this morning, thats how cold it was, I mean i felt like an ice block. Class was good, I need to put extra effort into Circuits to get it, but i am sure i can do it, I am playing fallout 3 now, its a fun game, its very interesting, well, thats all for now...

January 15th

I took my own advice today and went for a walk, and guess what, it was cold, but a nice peaceful walk, I enjoyed it, and felt better after. Try it on saturday, and I am sure you will love it. I bought my books, and even got a film making for dummies book, pretty cool stuff. Anywho, class really early tommorow...

January 14th

Today has been a good day, i talked to a couple new people in the past days, classes are going well and i am feeling good. I have begun to write out some rules to life, more like guidelines that most people should live by. Like if you need "professional productivity - control your numbers don't let them control you." Life is run by numbers, the numbers in your wallet, the numbers on your wrist, the number in class, on a test. All these numbers control our lives, if you seek inner peasce and productivity, let go of your numbers, free your day completely, leave your wallet and cell phone and watch at home and go for a walk, experience life, experience nature, and you will find peace...

January 13th

In a mad rush. Stephen must get to work, Classes are good, working on a program with/for stephen. Must run NOW...

January 12th

My first day of class... I need to know things i never took the class for, but I am about to head to my business class so I must be brief, today was a good day, watched the sun rise on the highway, and saw a tractor trailer on its side, pretty bad looking accident, and it's still in clean up now, i saw it at like 7:30 ish this morning. But off I must run...

January 11th

Hello Again, I am going to be in Richmond by 7:02 ish tonight, I don't have my computer because it is shipped out for repair, but if you would like to purchase it, I am selling it for about 700 dollars more would be appriciated, it is coming back in like new condition, fully repaired. The ad is on craigslist in richmond under electronics. But i am now currently single, but i didnt lose anything, I actually gained a really great friend and ally. I love her like a sister and a friend, and she has been great to me so far. Her and her family are cleaning because her grandparents are heading over, but i will post again tommorow.

January 10th

MORE Epiphany!!!

Ok, so, there are two roads a man can go down when he knows he can continue no further on the current one, one ends sooner then the other, and the other is a complete 180 change from the path he was taking before. But change is only the suppression of natural tendencies until new habits and tendencies are formed. I need to forgive myself like God forgives me, so that I may one day be clean in my own sight.

Was that enough epiphany for you?...

January 9th

Well, today i realized that i don't think i deserve the life I have, I have hurt so many people and made so many mistakes, I have so many regrets. I am so sorry to anyone that i have hurt, wronged, made feel bad, or anything that I may have done to you, I am sorry. My only wish is that I can forgive myself the way God has forgiven me, and that I can find peace and contentment in my life...

January 8th

Ok, so, a little late, but I made it, i am actually posting this late night January 8th, it's like 12:43 AM. My day was good, it is continuing to be relaxing, and I am enjoying the company of my girlfriend, I don't really have much super special input, but i am going to say that the wii is supah cool, and if you have XBOX Live my gamertag is FALL3NS0UL2 (with a 3 and a zero). I know, two different systems, still pretty cool, my girlfriend is almost at the end of what she has, which is good, we are planning to go out soon, Well, I best be going...

January 7th

Alright, so, me and transportation almost NEVER work out, i got like a 20% chance of incident free trip. I took a plane to my wonderful, beautiful girlfriends house. First, plane was delayed 10 minutes, ok, not bad, didn't take off till 40 minutes after it was suppose to, then, here is where it gets interesting, my girlfriend had a medical issue this morning, and her dad had to pick me up on his way home from work, instead of her, ok, enough. But he didn't drive, so because my plane landed late, I had made the carpool late like a half hour or more, but i got flowers for my girlfriend and her family, cause i got upset that all my plans fell through. and the flowers were really pretty. But everything is great now, except i still need sleep, but I am working on it. If this makes no sense i understand, i had a long day. God's got a message for me, and I think it's "Go with the flow"...

January 6th

Well, today i don't have much to say, really, i got nothing, well next to nothing, I have been really busy all day, but i managed to see "The Spirit" and i enjoyed it. I have been packing so i can leave and see my beautiful girlfriend tomorrow... fun things and other things will unfold, but mind you i am a virgin and plan to keep it that way.

Hectic days lead to not much to say, but until tomorrow,
I hope it was as fun for you as it was for me.

January 5th

I wrote a poem for today:

I have alot on my mind

not enough words

I have alot to say

not enough pages

I have alot to do

not enough time

I have alot to feel

not enough return

My words feel lost

My time feels forgotten

My thoughts merely dust in the wind

What we have is never enough

until we don't have what we used to

Then we know

That everything is worth something

That's about all i got today, it was a good day overall, and its late and i have entered my thinking phase. But I have enough to think about...

January 4th

This blog is helping me remember what day it is. Yesterday I had something humbling happen to me yesterday and today I have come to realize a few things.

First, no matter how big and mighty and amazing you think you are, you always have a weakness, and one day someone will exploit it and humble you. Example from my own recent experience, I was a very proud person, proud of my body, my outward apperance and such, but this experience made me temporarily not as attractive outwardly, the story makes people laugh so my pride has been turn to humbleness.

Second, treat others with respect, in everything, personal space, actions whatever, don't appease, respect, there is a fine line.

Third, learn from everything that happens to you, learn every day, seek knowledge, if not, the lessons will seek you, seek life, live it abundently in spirit, explore, be everything you can be.

January 3rd

Its a hard task to start a new habit, a new routine, something as trivial as brushing your teeth at night, or as major as blogging every day, having a quiet time with God, working out, and stopping single actions completely. But as with every new change it takes a while, I have read that it takes about 6 weeks to start a new habit. So I say this to everyone that has a new years resolution, keep it up till valentines day, the longer you do it the easier it will be, OH and trust in God, that always helps. I need a new name for this blog, i dont like dailyblog09, i am thinking it should be a little easier.

I saw 88 Minutes, damn good movie, you should watch it, you will love it, it keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole time, it keeps you guessing as much as Al Pacino does. No spoiler here... But you should also see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" and "Doubt"

There was something else I keep wanting to say, but i honestly dont remember. OH, I remembered, see, forgetting helped me remember, I talked to my pepere about the war and stuff, thats World War 2, the secondest greatest war ever, second only to "The Great War" for those who don't know, that's WWI, he talked about crossing the equator and getting initiated into something, he showed me pictures and his initiation card, he also showed me several different types of currency, Austrailian Pounds, Phillipeno Pesos and Centavos, and japanese currency, also two bills that i can't remember the country, but they said "Victory" on the back, it was cool stuff, I encourage you all to talk to your veteran relatives.

For now, I leave you with a quote... "There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there." (American Psycho)

January 2nd

Well, today was a good day, here's what i do, EVERY MORNING:
1. Wake up to classical music
2. Exercise (Push-ups, Sit-ups, I really should add more)
3. Spend some quiet time with God

Today I read Acts 4:32-36

32All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. 33With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. 34There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales 35and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.
36Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means Son of Encouragement), 37sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostles' feet.

(From Biblegateway.com)

It was a very interesting passage, it made me think of the communist ideal, sharing everything, all land is everyones. But think about how it would feel to travel in a group and know that you are secure, and to be close to everyone as to be in "one heart and mind". Thats close man, and think about what that must have been like, to always have a friend, and to be on a true mission from God, to spread the news of his resurection. I wish that we could all think like the apostles did.

OH, and never ever ever see Burn After Reading. [SPOILER ALERT] Not a great movie, I mean, i was expecting a comedy, what i got was a whole look into a secret world inside a secret world, lots of affairs, OH and Brad Pitt gets shot in the face, oh, sorry to ruin it. John Malcovich shoots someone, then beats the guy in broad daylight (the beating not the shooting). Oh and George Clooney is in it. He does well, i mean its a bunch of bumbling idiots and a disc, but the idiots dont know what is going on. Anyway, yeah, Brad Pitt is in it as a personal trainer who obtains a disc with information on it, and with the help of a coworker does really stupid stuff, and they ATTEMPT to act like spies, but they are just stupid. Oh and prepare to hear the word "fuck" many many times. [END SPOILER ALERT]

So, I had to wake up super early today, I had to go to a neurofeedback appointment, it went well, oh and you have got to try a place called "Ruffels" i think is the spelling, its in providence, around Wayland Square, across from a place called "Edge". Delicious diner style breakfasts and such. I got my hair cut and deposited a check, then i went home and napped for 2 hours, good nap, not really tired right now, but anyway, I was trying to be in bed by 9 but that never happens. I am sorta disappointed, but thats my day. hopefully more will happen tommorow, OH and i almost forgot, I am going to maryland on the 7th and i will be in virginia by the 11th. Long school year this is gonna be. Write again tommorow...

January 1st

1:18 AM
Today is the first of the new year. How exciting! I have come to realize a few things, 1st I have anger issues, and 2nd I hate getting pushed around and everyone thinking its ok. The world is run by the aggressive, the slight of action, those that do stuff behind your back only for you to realize it when you return. Turn away for a second and your whole world will have changed. Ok, so previously, I had signed the lease for my first apartment, awesome right, well, not if you hadn't signed anything official before you got there, aparently sending in a copy of the lease wasn't quite enough. It just gave people an excuse to step on me, I put all my stuff, the little I could bring 500 miles with me, in the second best room, and then leave to go see my girlfriend, hmmm, fun right, except that when i come back i find that ALL my stuff was moved to the smallest whole in the wall room, and they just laughed as I opened the door and wondered where all my stuff went, and found it all randomly placed in the other room... And just tonight, I am trying to sleep when everyone else goes in to try and get ready, so i get up and relieve myself, when i come back, I FIND MY STUFF MOVED, and them all trying to clear space, and when i try to return to my spot, my brother has already gone there. So where am i to sleep but the spot RIGHT NEAR THE DOOR where people walk by all the time. And I can't stop any of these thick headed sons of bitches from stepping on me, so, either people need to listen to me, or I need to knock a few heads together, i am gonna try for the first one. Now, if you think this blog is just gonna be me complaining about my life, it's not, thats just how i feel right now. If i stop posting after this morning, I have done something drastic to myself. But lets see how it goes.


6:24 PM
Ok, so about this morning, that whole something drastic to myself thing was a little far. BUT, the rest was meant, i was just in a particularly happy mood, and i am slowly getting better, maybe a bit of zenness tommorow will help, we will see. I honestly have no idea what i am gonna be doing for the future. however, today i went to my memere and pepere's house (grandparents) to exchange gifts and had alot of fun, it was nice to see them again. Well, I am exhausted, so I think i am gonna go get some shut eye.