May 14th

I am becoming closer to being ready... ready for what you ask... well, a short potentially life changing relationship and the L-word, but one step at a time, although I may have them out of order. In my own time she and I say. She will be there when I decide to jump, so wait we shall, but how long can one wait before the wait is done, which will come first the jump or one of us walking away. I am afraid that I don't trust myself to make smart choices, I am afraid I will not be able to do what I need to do in order to successfully be in a relationship. Because to those of you that don't know, there is a singular point you can stand on, the midpoint between so many factors, but with the right person it is effortless, and I so hope that this is it, as far as right people go. I don't know how much more failure I can take. God has never left me and as far as I think I am still an effective young man of God, Throughout my time on this Earth and as a Child of God, I have matured in him, and have become steadfast in my faith, not unshakable, but My roots will always be planted in him. I am very sleepy. I watched Jon Stewart and then an interesting half hour documentary on the history and range of sex toys. random tidbits of information, entertaining and educational. Again, going back to the fine lines, it is a series of fine lines, leading to the point of overwhelming emotion. And I think I am ready or at least almost ready to take the plunge. But the question is ARE YOU? you know who you are... Oh, I saw star trek the movie and it was good, it made sense, it made it possible to change the time stream of star trek for reasons i cannot reveal. BUT, Leonard Nemoy was Spock Prime!!!!!!! So very fascinating, but regardless, bedtime now, wake time later...