August 20th

Catching up is a bitch. But I can feel my mind activate different places the further back I try to remember. But anyway, I had weird dreams the past couple days, one involving being chased though a super market by crazed women trying to make the most amazing snack to females EVER. And then seeing a mouth inside someone's belly button... way weird dream. But I am being haunted by phrases my ex used to say frequently and they are all in a modified english, ie. something close to baby talk. And it bothers me because I see parallels between my relationship then and my current one, and I don't want the same thing to happen. But it is a learning process, and I will get there. I also realized today that I am sad when Brittany is sad, especially emo on her period due to stress because her family is falling apart etc. And I feel like I don't know how to react, but I also don't know what to say to make it better, but I think it's best I don't say anything. Just let her use my shoulder and wait for her smiling face to return. I spent most of the day with her today, and we had ALOT of good times: Crazy dancing in the car to techno and 90's pop, fun stuff, I showed her Arcanum and she seemed to really like it. I attempted to cook a weinie but it didn't work as well as planned, esp. since I made it with onions and a bunch of spices and it tasted horrible, probably good to someone, but it was bareable... Her aunt made a really great shrimp dish and it was delish, and we cuddled and went for a walk and enjoyed the night air.... I met Brittany's great aunt's great niece, and she got all shy and cowared from me and hide in the couch, but, I work tommorow and need to sleep, feels good to get thoughts down... OH INTERVIEW FOR LAUNDROMAT! Went well I think, hopefull Brittany and I will get the postions... But wow, I need to do something different tomm. at neurofeedback. But hey, goodnight...